Discovering Advent

The first time I heard about Advent candles was from a comedian. I followed the blog of a writer who was Catholic and she talked about how her Advent candles melted into hideous shapes in the heat of the attic in her home in Texas. 

The resulting pictures were hilarious. (You can see a repost of the pictures here.) I had a good laugh, but also had to google Advent candles. What was this tradition she was talking about?

I vaguely knew what Advent was. When I was a child my family had a fun little Advent calendar with daily ornaments for a little tree. My own children always looked forward to the chocolate Advent calendars their grandma gave them each year. I knew that Advent was the countdown to Christmas. As I googled I learned that Advent didn’t start on December 1st. It started the fourth Sunday before Christmas Day. I learned that Catholics often light four candles during Advent. One on each Sunday.

I learned that some people light the candles in a straight line and have elaborate holders in that layout. Those were pretty, but my eyes were drawn to the pictures of Advent Wreaths. The wreaths were made of evergreen to symbolize continuous life. The four candles were spaced around the wreath. 

The tradition sounded lovely and I started to think about buying an Advent wreath and starting to light the candles with my own family. However, it took me a few years to do that. I was a little worried about religious cultural appropriation. Was it okay for an LDS family to start doing an Advent Wreath? I was also forgetful. I’d always forget that I wanted an Advent wreath until we got the Christmas decorations out on December 1st. By that point Advent would already have started. I’d tell myself that maybe I’d buy a wreath before Advent the next year. Then I’d forget again and the cycle would continue. 

Two years ago I went to a friend’s house during December. She had an Advent wreath on her dining room table. I couldn’t take my eyes off of it. It was so pretty. I’d assumed that Advent wreaths were just a Catholic thing. My friend was more of an Evangelical Christian. I realized that Advent wreaths were a broader tradition than I thought. I stopped worrying about religious cultural appropriation after I saw the wreath on her table. 

I also realized that I wanted one – and I didn’t care if it was “too late” this year. I ordered a wreath online. It arrived in time for the last Sunday of Advent. The traditional colors of Advent Candles are purple and rose. I couldn’t find any candles those colors at the store that late in the season so I just bought a pack of four white candles. 

That Sunday my husband and I gathered our four children around the dining room table. We set out the wreath and added the candles. My children took turns lighting candles while I explained the meaning behind each candle. Hope, Peace, Joy, and Love. 

I think my children liked the fire more than they enjoyed the symbolism. But I felt like we were off to a good start. 

The next year I was able to find candles in the right colors and we lit the first candle on the fourth Sunday before Christmas. My children were very interested in why purple and pink were Christmas colors. I explained that purple is the color of royalty and Jesus is a King. The pink candle, which is really called rose, has to do with the liturgical calendar. The third Sunday was about Joy and Rose is the color associated with Joy. I told them if we went to a Catholic church on the third Sunday of Advent all the priests would be wearing rose colored robes. It felt good to be tapping into these deep Christian Traditions. 

I think that sense of tradition is what appealed to me about celebrating Advent with a wreath and candles. Advent wreaths originated in Germany and were used by both Catholics and Lutherans to count down to Christmas. My mother’s family was Lutheran for generations until she and her mom converted to the LDS church. My ancestors were in Poland which is close to Germany. I wondered if my ancestors lit Advent Wreaths. Was I returning to a tradition that had been lost in my family?    

Even if this wasn’t a long lost family tradition I still liked the sense of history in the ritual of lighting candles that have their symbolism in the liturgical year. I liked knowing that many other Christians throughout history had lit candles in their homes and paused to contemplate Jesus coming into the world bringing Hope, Peace, Joy, and Love.

I felt like my own church hadn’t given me very meaningful Christmas traditions. The Light the World Initiative had been going on for several years, but I’d never been able to get into it. The calendars and lists of suggestions for things to do each day to participate in Light the World just left me feeling overwhelmed. Lately, there had been a big push for the Giving Machine vending machines popping up though out the US. The concept of the Giving Machines was fine, but I felt like the church already expected it’s member to be Giving Machines. Did we really need another way to give?

I was looking for something deeper and more introspective. Less about service and more about contemplation. Taking time to mark each week of Advent was a beautiful way to pause and think about what it really meant to anticipate Jesus. The wreath is a good reminder of what this busy season is really about. I like the way that the candles start out the same height, but become stair stepped as the month goes on. It’s a visual representation of moving through time.

I’m still new to this Advent thing so every year I forget which word goes with each week. This year I wrote the words on our wall calendar so I could keep track. My son loves to read over the calendar so he was the first to notice the words. It was sweet to hear him say things like, “This week is Hope. Next week is Peace. Then it’s Joy. And Christmas Eve is Love.” Throughout the week he’ll remind me thinks like, “This week is Joy.”

When it comes time to light the candles my kids still seem a bit more focused on the fire then the actual meaning behind the candles. But we are making progress. There have been beautiful moments this year. 

When we lit the Hope candle I talked about how people hoped the Messiah would come for generations. I told the kids that their hope for Christmas Presents could remind them of how it feels to hope for a Savior.  

When we lit the Peace candle we talked about ways to feel peace that week – even though it was going to be a very busy week. My daughter suggested we find a night where we could just relax and listen to Christmas music in the living room. I liked that suggestion so much I was actually able to find two nights we could do that.  

Last Sunday we lit the Joy candle. We talked about things that bring us joy and how Jesus can bring us joy. Then we talked about ways we can bring joy to others. Most of them were small, but one of them was bigger. My family helped a friend clean up from a large Christmas event that she hosts every year. She was so grateful about our offer to help. She really appreciated the work we did. My children saw that seemingly small acts of service can bring people joy.

We should light the candle symbolizing Love this Sunday. That happens to be Christmas Eve. My husband’s family always has a big party on Christmas Eve. Right now my family is trying to decide if we will just light the candle earlier in the week or if we will bring the wreath and candles to the Christmas Eve Party to introduce this tradition to the whole family. Either way I’m looking forward to pausing for a moment to talk about love with my children. 

My knowledge of Advent candles and wreaths may have started out with a laugh over melted candles. But it’s turned into something more. It’s connected me to broader Christianity, helped me pause during this busy season, and given me lovely moments with my family. I look forward to Sunday nights when we will sit in the glow of the candles and talk about our love for Jesus and our anticipation of celebrating his birth on Christmas.

What about you? Do you have any new traditions that you’ve started with your family? What do you do? Why do you like these new traditions?

This is my Advent Wreath. I’m so glad I finally decided to do this tradition.