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At that moment, I thought, “What is keeping me from putting my hands on [my dying mother's] head, and blessing her from my heart?”  Is it just what I had heard my whole life, that God only recognized the voices of men in a hands-on-head blessing? It was such a foreign thought -- that this might be completely false, and that God would honor my voice just as much as that of my brother.  I felt sad that I was hesitant to push past that feeling and give her my blessing for fear of being wrong.   If I were to do it, I thought, I would close the door to her room so that her aides or my brother would not stumble upon the scene . . . unlike when my brother felt free to perform his blessing in full view of -- but without participation of or consultation with -- the women in attendance, as we do in the church.  So. I closed the door, laid my hands on her head and began.
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My proposal to combat the added emotional weight that comes with unfulfilled promptings is to stop making life decisions based on what you believe God is telling you to do.

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Is Doctrine and Covenants 25 a beautiful revelation from God for a woman struggling after the loss of her baby? Or is it an example of spiritual abuse from a spouse? Or is it a little bit of both? These are the questions swirling in my mind today. I guess if Emma truly believed that every word of Doctrine and Covenants 25 came directly from God, then I bet she agreed with Emily Belle Freeman’s take on it - this is a beautiful revelation. But if Emma was uncertain, this revelation may have been hard to hear. It may have felt manipulative and exploitative.
As the show opens, Carrie Chapman Catt gives this speech encouraging men to “let Mother vote.” She talks about how women have already contributed so much to the country through the men to whom they have given birth. She believes a “kind” approach is the best way to handle the men.  As I listen to this, I can’t help but think of J. Annette Dennis’ recent (infamous) talk “Accessing God’s Power Through Covenants.” The talk in itself could have been seen as monumental. She talked about Latter-Day Saint women having power and authority from God. This is something most Latter-Day Saints struggle to acknowledge. But, she also suggested that women may not need any more power, authority, or representation when she said, “There is no other religious organization in the world, that I know of, that has so broadly given power and authority to women.” This was met with significant pushback. To me, the current Relief Society Presidency does fight for change for women, just slowly and kindly, with a smile, and it’s simply not enough for many women. Recent Relief Society presidencies have talked about divorce, infertility, working women, and abuse, all deep, important topics. The key is: are they saying it so sweetly (and so infrequently, given how little of a platform they are given), that the general Church population is not listening? 
"My God": A poem that explores the god worth worshipping, after all.
Today my daughter is no longer in primary. My baby girl who still sometimes plays with her dolls and is clinging to a belief in Santa Claus is now considered a young woman in the eyes of the church.  I’m not ready for this.
In a split second before answering the question, my brain was processing “Am I still LDS? Am I dishonoring my pioneer ancestry by not claiming my heritage? Am I going to be affected by bias (intended or unconscious) if I say no? Does saying no wipe away the last 36 years of my life living as a Mormon?”
This January 25th, rather than sitting idly as Trump passes executive orders that can have lasting impacts on the future of human lives, let’s make change. Let’s listen to the voices of those who are being impacted every day. Then take a moment to think about what you can do in your sphere to make things better. Not sure where to start? Here's a list of texts/books/articles/essays that you can read this year that will help you understand how institutional racism operates in the US.