Eight years ago, I thought for sure it would be the year that Utah flipped from red to blue. I couldn’t imagine people from my church voting for a man who did these things (to name only a few):
- Bragged about sexually assaulting women
- Referred to immigrants as criminals and rapists
- Ran on a campaign based on building a giant wall between us and our southern neighbors
- Wanted to create a database for tracking Muslims in the US
- Wanted to ban Muslims from entering the US
- Encouraged his supporters to use violence
I live in Oregon, but I remember being shocked when I noticed that Utah went red in full force. Didn’t the majority of Utahans go to my church? I thought my church taught things like, “Don’t assault women” or “Don’t be racist.”
I remember scrolling through my facebook feed the day after the election and realizing that all my Oregon friends voted for Clinton EXCEPT my Mormon Oregon friends. Of course I had some Mormon Oregon friends who voted for Clinton, but there were lots who voted for Trump. Again, I thought my church taught things like, “Don’t assault women” or “Don’t be racist.” So why were the only Oregonians I knew who supported Trump Mormons?
This morning I woke up and felt less shocked than I did eight years ago. I had already learned eight years ago that I don’t share values with members of my church community.
But I still feel sad.
I feel sad that members of my church care more about strict (and arbitrary) gender norms than they care about youth suicide rates.
I feel sad that members of my church care more about reducing abortion than they care about supporting women’s reproductive health.
I feel sad that members of my church care more about banning critical race theory or diversity/equity/inclusion than they care about eliminating racism.
I feel sad that members of my church care more about toting whatever kinds of guns they want than thinking logically about and relying on research to help us keep kids safe.
I feel sad that members of my church support a man who brags about sexual assault and who is openly racist.
I feel sad today.
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Featured blog photo by Kristina Tripkovic on Unsplash
24 Responses
We join you in being sad! I def relate to what you’re feeling.
I like Mimi, I am once again very sad and extremely troubled by the fact that so many Mormons voted for Trump.
I keep wondering:
How can so many “good people” give this person so much power? I also wonder, how can the church I grew up in, that I have served so many years in, where I have had so many powerful spiritual experiences in be filled with so many people who vote to give power to a very troubled man. Don’t they care that he perpetuates hate and contention, makes fun of people with disabilities and military heroes, tell so many lies, cheats others, has sexually and verbally abused women, separated families, caused so many people to die during the pandemic, attacks transgender individuals (including youth), is unapologetically racist and perpetuates racism, encouraged an insurrection where elected officials ran for their lives, spreads lies about immigrants, and over and over has shown himself to be incapable of empathy, etc., etc (insert other abhorrent behaviors here)?
How could they prop him up and give him so much power? How is this possible? What mental gymnastics did they have to go through to justify voting for him?
Could one of the reasons so many Mormons voted for Trump be that Mormons are so used to deferring to white authoritative males that it was easy for them to normalize his deviate behaviors? Is this voting pattern another example of how the patriarchal misogynist structure of the LDS church is harmful to not only women, but men, and now our country?
You ask, “How many good people give this person so much power?” Well, “good people” didn’t do that. And when voters voted for him KNOWING what he is like, what he is ok with, and what his policy plans are, we can acknowledge that those voters are like him, they are ok with the abusiveness, they are ok with deportations, open season on women, and fighting Woke. Mostly, I think they are uneducated, fearful, and cynical about other people’s lives.
I think you’re on to something, Debra. The women in our church need to speak up more often but they’re so afraid that someone will run to the Bishopric or Stake Presidency that they don’t say what needs to be said. There won’t be anyone left to come to OUR aid when we need it because we haven’t helped anyone else to avoid persecution.
I’m right there with you, Mimi.
I just told my therapist today the same thing. I’m saddened that so many members of our church voted for him or didn’t vote. I feel a sense of betrayal. The whole love-thy-neighbor doesn’t ring true if it’s only if that neighbor is white and not POC, queer, trans, or Muslim. I’m tired. So tired of fighting. My therapist told me it’s okay to step back and take care of myself. But seriously, it’ll be so hard to look at any member of my ward without thinking how could they be studying the Book of Mormon this year and still vote for a man that is the very opposite of what Christ taught? Le sigh.
So very true!
I agree with all of these comments. The hardest part for me was seeing the hope and optimism fade from my 12 year old daughter’s face as I told her the news this morning. I want so badly to believe she can have a different experience than me, and trust that women can be treated as equals and hold the same positions as men. However, when our church culture is the thing that brings that into question more than anything else, and millions of people in our country defer to these same antiquated ideas I lose faith that my husband and I’s desperate attempts to counter that and treat her and her brother equally etc is enough. We live in a very liberal town in a swing state and having my kids come to terms with the fact that the way most of the people around us view the world is so wildly different than many others, and most especially church members is hard to see.
I feel so bad for your daughter. She has to feel betrayed by other adults around her and out there, even though you and your husband have tried so hard to be Christlike. God bless her and her parents.
I remember how many times this year that I read the Book of Mormon and thought it pointed to Trump as an example of an untrustworthy leader. I remember how many times over the last year I heard things in General Conference that gave me direction on how to choose wisely, but in both cases, I saw how my friends and neighbors heard the same words and pointed to the non-Trump party as the ones who were being spoken about.
At 1:40 am last night, as I was pondering it all, I listened to my nightly audio chapter of Saints Vol. 4 and I heard the following quote from ElderThomas S. Monsoon, “Agreement will not come easily. We should take the instructions of 3 Nephi wherein the Lord said, ‘Neither shall there be disputations among you.’ Saints Vol. 4 pg 124.
It wasn’t the answer I wanted, but it did seem to be an answer. As long as nobody fights with me in the foyer, then I won’t fight with them. It is sad to see it come to this, but such are the times we live in. Trump will show himself to be what he truly is and some will regret their choice, my challenge will be in not saying “you get what you voted for.”
If this is a church of Trump supporters/defenders, it is a failure of a religion.
Amen!
I retired my pink hat too early. Time to make another one and keep up the fight!
I feel this. A colleague knows I’m a member of the church but we don’t talk religion much. Today we were talking and she was tiptoeing around the subject and trying to be nice. She said “I don’t know if you voted for Trump.” I said, “of course not. I could never.” She immediately hugged me and said “thank you for being a Mormon who is sane and good” so I guess that was my way to take upon myself the name of Christ today. We live in a relatively conservative area, and while I’m dreading going to church on Sunday, I’m glad my non-member community members see my opinions as a blessing to my faith, not a curse and reason to be ostracized.
I am in a blind rage against Republican voters in general – HOW DARE THEY. I don’t know if I’ll be going back to my ward at all. I can think of a couple of families who I know did not vote for that, but most of them – nice and quiet as they are – definitely did. Can’t do it. Can’t worship the Lord with people who vote for hate, subjugation of women, cruelty to immigrants, and the erasure of LGBT people in favor of their personal privilege.
This has been part of the hard. My neighbor, my bishopric, my son-in-law, all Trump supporters. The only explanations that have helped me a little bit are these two thoughts: Trump’s rhetoric appeals to the limbic system. Fear, hate, and anger can’t have rational conversations about pre-frontal issues, which is why we are so at odds and it just doesn’t make sense when conversing together. And secondly, we are raised to be a gullible people believing in miracles and angels and so on. We aren’t critical thinkers, we blindly follow older white men. This fits that pattern.
Amen again!
I’m sad for the LGBTQ+ members of my birth family. I’m sad for my second family who has immigrated here over the last 18 months. I’m sad for all the women I know. I know I’m lucky I live in a quite liberal area of a mostly liberal state that believes in supporting women’s and immigrants rights and many of my Mormon friends did NOT vote for Trump…and I also know many people in my ward and stake did (two Sundays ago one of the missionaries, in the opening prayer in Sacrament meeting, Primary Program Sunday!, asked God to bless us to make sure to vote to save all the unborn babies that are being killed…fewer people than I hoped objected to that prayer) . All of those things make me sad, too.
Over 52 years as a member, I’ve heard a lot of foolish things come out of the mouths of young missionaries. And they appear to be getting worse. You know what that young man was taught at home and it didn’t include saving the life of the mother or saving her from even more mental stress from a horrific situation. Most men know nothing about a woman’s reproductive system but I won’t get started on that.
I just wish there was a handful of women in my ward I could see eye to eye with politically.
Me, too, but in our uptight ward, you can’t even hint that you disagree with what a teacher or other sister has just said.
Four years ago, right after Biden was declared the winner, a ward member posted a single scripture from Mosiah on their facebook page. It was about how if the voice of the people choose iniquity destruction will follow. I commented that it was fair of him to equate voting Republican with being a good member of the church and how that makes people feel like they don’t belong in the church. He responded saying that he never mentioned the election or church members (though he didn’t correct any one else’s comments who mentioned the election outcome) and then went on a rant about abortion. His wife, who I had considered to be a good friend, unfriended me. It was that moment that I realized you cannot separate the people and the culture from the gospel and church teachings. Church members are the way they are because of what they have learned at church.
So very true! I’m a 52-years-a-convert person and I just can’t take the racism, misogyny and blind hatred among church members any more. I’m seldom at church due to health issues but have little desire to try and make it there any more often. Even in SoCal, there are wards and members who are just as narrow-minded as the ones we encountered during our prolonged stay in Utah.
Mimi, I’m very sorry for your sadness. I truly understand, as maybe you can tell from all the other comments I’ve made here. For two days, I was in such a state of shock and denial that I could barely function. It was worse than when my husband died 10 years ago and it took a good 6 or 7 years for me to come out of that devastation. What has hurt as much are the horrible comments LDS people (whom I know personally) have been making on Facebook. I’ve answered some briefly, mostly to say first, that they’ve forgotten about the King-men in the Book of Mormon (Alma 51 is one place to start reading) and second, that Buyer’s Remorse is going to set in with such a vengeance and we won’t have to wait long for it to hit those who voted for a disgusting person. But we will all suffer hugely. And then I unfriended them to save my own mental health.
I spent the summer “in the weeds,” doing whatever my health allowed to help the Harris/Walz campaign. So it stings mightily to hear people ranting about “all the lies” that we told about Trump. There were no lies but “facts are stubborn things,” etc. I tried multiple times to tell Trumpers what I thought they could handle (milk before meat) but they wouldn’t even drink the milk. Instead they drank the Kool-Aid the other side offered.