“Manifestation in the Temple” painting by Lisa DeLong
Recent talks from church authorities have increased conversations about garment wearing, especially among LDS women. Since hearing these talks, many people have expressed concern about their relationship with garments, the temple, the church, and leaders.
This is inevitable and understandable.
If you take symbolic clothing which is part of a symbolic ritual, and then, decades after the development of said ritual, add a requirement that this symbolic clothing be used as underwear which is to be worn constantly, and then add all the elements of modesty culture and directly connect it to appearance needing to always reflect strict adherence to said garment wearing, that is fertile ground for confusion, dissonance and trauma in relationships with self and in church community.
I have had a number of calls from people who are wrestling with trying to understand their own confusion. Language and meaning declared in recent talks are not the same as what they hear in the temple. The recent changes in the handbook refer to wording and covenants in the temple that they do not and did not experience. Any trust they had built in being able to seek guidance of the spirit in wearing the garment while also considering their health, this felt violated.
These are committed, temple attending, garment wearing members of the church. They have felt able to appreciate the value of wearing something daily which is a symbol and reminder of their commitment to worship and learn and serve in the church. Like myself, many have had a mixture of experiences with ritual, and freely choose to create individual ways to have ritual practice be a part of meditation, and mindfulness, and awareness of ways to take on transformation. I recognize that attaching literal meaning to any part of ritual contradicts the purpose of it, and I try to recognize when I imply literal truth about my own insights (which are constantly evolving, as ritual is designed to enable), and to listen through that filter when anyone is sharing their own thoughts. I do not assign literal truth to the meaning others find in their ritual experience. I remember that it is the meaning they find which they embrace at this time. Our own insights are meant to shift and develop over time.
When anyone insists that the garment has a certain, inherent meaning, and that my behavior must align with that meaning, and I must prove my own worthiness by displaying adherence to that meaning, that would mean I must walk their path, have their experience, and wear their underwear.
I don’t wear someone else’s underwear.
I know, from personal experience, that the level of quality and consistency in the officially made garments is not great. But ever since the recent talk that singled out women and criticized them for not wearing garments enough, and saying there would be a change in the garment design later this year, there has been a definite decline in the production reliability, especially for women’s styles and sizes. Even petite sizes are longer, and reach below the knee. The necklines of some tops are gathered so high, only crew necks cover them. Is this in response to this talk, or did it precede the talk? After decades of seeing the material and style of the garment offer some more comfortable options, this seemed to be a retrenchment. This is very disconcerting, especially after a talk from a male leader, who suggested that women wearing yoga pants were somehow less worthy or less committed to their covenants. A church leader who is putting that much meaning on women’s clothing is revealing more about himself than he is about others.
It is important to be able to discuss this.
Maxine Hanks and I were recently asked to be on Valerie Hamaker’s podcast Latter Day Struggles. We discussed different aspects of this issue, including early history, some of the many changes surrounding garments, the purpose of symbolic clothing, and especially the complications of trying to equate symbolic clothing with daily underwear.
I highly recommend this valuable episode. It is episode #222 on the Latter Day Struggles Faith Expansion With Valerie Hamaker Podcast. This podcast is well worth the subscription.
Some highlights –
- Maxine Hanks covered some little known history of the garment, including its origins as the first layer of sacred priestly robes used only in symbolic ritual. And the gradual shifting opinions about wearing it as daily underwear, including the almost unanimous vote taken by general authorities in the 20th century to change the policy to recommend that garments only be worn during temple attendance (spoiler alert – the single dissenting vote determined the outcome).
- The purpose of symbolic clothing is – drum roll – symbolic. There is no inherent or absolute meaning or truth to symbolic items. The value of it, like the value of symbolic ritual, is the personal experience and individual interaction each participant has with it. The most anyone else can tell you about its meaning is to share what it means to them. Each needs to find their own meaning, and relationship with what and how the clothing can remind or inspire one to learn from and live individual covenants we make in our ongoing relationship with God and ourselves.
- It is important that we, for our own health, distinguish between underwear and symbolic ritual clothing. Underwear, especially for women, is often directly influenced by our health, and different seasons of life. If we take an obligation around proving worthiness by wearing symbolic garments, and collapse that with underwear needs during the various, changing health situations and what is appropriate and conducive to that, then we are wearing someone else’s underwear. We put our physical, spiritual, emotional and mental health at risk when we do. I am very specific about the only time I answer a question about garments, and that is only during the scripted temple recommend interview. For me, this is symbolic of my journey to prepare to participate in symbolic ritual, and honor the purpose and my commitment to that ritual. This is where I acknowledge that I honor what the garment is. I do not elaborate, or go off script. Anything other than that scripted question about the garment would be about my underwear. And I do not discuss my underwear with anyone. There is no leader who is trained to understand and hear about what is involved in all stages and aspects of my health, especially all the cancer treatments, surgeries, side effects, tubes, drains, wound treatments, compression wear, fluids, and the impact every circumstance of my life has had on my body. There is also no way those who write policy in Salt Lake City can possibly understand what it is like to go through what anyone of us might go through. And it is clear that any instructions which tell people to restore the garment as soon as possible after working out or doing yardwork are speaking from a privileged, western society perspective. I have traveled for humanitarian service in countries where every day involves hard labor, often outside in hot and humid weather. Where is the understanding and encouragement to be aware of what is appropriate wear for that kind of job, or in cultures that have a very different tradition around what is considered modest wear? Another very important thing to consider – During most of our history, people made their own garments. And, there are still people today who make their own. This is an important option for a church that is now worldwide. If there could be the option in different cultures of making or adapting underwear to be garments, it would build a greater sense of trust and focus on the purpose and value of symbolic clothing, rather than an attempt to control everyone to conform to a rigid design.
- Pay attention to the part the symbolic garment plays in the temple ritual, and the instruction around its purpose. There is no specific covenant made specific to the garment, unless that has changed very recently. There is instruction regarding the wearing of the garment, and that instruction gives the individual the responsibility and privilege of working that out for their own lives. If that has changed very recently, that underscores that this clothing is symbolic, not with inherent meaning. If there were inherent, big T “Truth” meaning, there would not be regular changes made to the design, wording, and teachings about the garment. And if there are changes being made because some leaders are assuming that current habits of women they see do not conform to their idea of proper underwear, then recent change is not about honoring the garment, and it is definitely not about drawing closer to God. It is about controlling women and their bodies, with no concern for understanding their circumstances or ministering to their needs. It is the opposite of the Gospel of Christ.
I share this as someone who has embraced and honored the value of garments since I received my endowments over 40 years ago. I remember feeling like I had superpowers when I first began wearing them – not because of a literal protection from them. I had had too many experiences of losing garment-wearing loved ones to disease and accident and illness to ever consider them as magical in that way. I had helped cut garments off the cancer ravaged bodies of deceased loved ones, and it was clear it was not a literal shield. No, I felt I was magical in another way. I had a daily reminder that I had taken on a ritual practice of repeatedly going through the motions of an archetypal ascension journey, and I was willing to see how it might confront me to look at what I was doing to hold myself back, what I was unwilling to give up, where was I clinging to paradigms that kept me from connection, from at-one-ment. This is what I had learned about the power of ritual, and the garment was a part of it. I appreciate what that meant to me at the time, and I have journeyed through deepening my ownership of that part of my path. When I have, at times, been in situations where the physical representation was harmful or unhealthy, I have learned to carry the reminder of that power in other ways.
A benefit of learning history, and sharing stories of owning our own relationship to our symbolic clothing which we are required to have as underwear is one way to help navigate times when messages from talks tend to contradict personal experience. The God I experience, and that I have been led to in my lifetime of church service, honors my journey. They lead me to own and create my path as I wrestle with the complexity and richness of this life. I appreciate the leaders and fellow members who also honor and trust that we are each doing the best we can as we come together in community, trying to make our way to God in our daily lives.
Because I hope to receive grace, I try to have grace for others when they seem to impose their own meaning on me, especially when they use any position of authority to do so. Knowing history helps me realize that the strong opinions of a few men have largely shaped much of the current rhetoric around ritual policies, changing much of it from the original purpose of the temple being a place of possible spiritual insight through symbolic learning ritual. This is how most aspects of civilization have been shaped. God leads me to create my individual path through all of it, without needing to have someone else tell me what it has to mean. I can create new worlds from any symbol, if that is the meaning that inspires me. I have had extraordinary examples and mentors for that kind of creation. None of them have insisted that I wear any underwear except my own.
24 Responses
Jody, thank you so much for all this wisdom and insights about rituals, sacred clothing, and personal spirituality. It helps me feel seen and at peace today. The recent talks have had the opposite than the desired effect on me. I always really owned my use of garments as something meaningful that I was highly committed to. I did wear them 24-7, and this didn’t bother me psychologically, even though sometimes it was uncomfortable. But since the recent anxious crackdown, I have felt like leaders are trying to take control of this part of my spirituality (even though I was already following what they wanted!!) I realized that I wasn’t motivated anymore to wear garments in the summer heat and humidity anymore. I stopped wearing them when it is hot. I bought a beautiful, modest dress. When I wore it for the first time, the fabric hiked up my garments. I just took those garments off and didn’t bat an eye. I decided if there is something I consider modest that doesn’t accommodate garments, it’s fine for me to make exceptions. I also realized it doesn’t make sense for me to wear garments when I have my period and I stopped wearing them then. They are like wearing male underwear when on a period, which makes no sense.
One night recently while wearing my garments during a hot night I woke up with bad inflammation. I realized in an instant why some of my friends had to stop wearing garments due to infections. You body can’t breath while always wearing shorts/extra layers– amazingly, I hadn’t really thought about this before. I wondered if garments contributed to my long fight with vulvodynia, which is chronic pain, irritation and sensitivity that I wouldn’t wish on anyone. I took those garments off and gave myself permission to not use them at night when needed. I’m still using garments but on my own terms.
When leaders don’t help people feel loved and seen, when they treat us like children and try to take control of our personal choices, this is counterproductive. It has the opposite effect than the desired effect. It inspires unorthodoxy and rebellion rather than greater adherence to their counsel.
I agree!! I have always worn garments, and being in my mid 40s going through perimenopause wearing any extra layer with heat has been miserable. I’ve stopped wearing them when I know I’ll be out in the hot and humidity a lot and on my period. I will admit I have felt a bit of guilty that I’ve had to remind myself is ridiculous. Wearing or not wearing something doesn’t change promises I made, and I think Heavenly Father wants me to be happy on this earth, not suffer.
Thank you, Jody, for articulating what so many of us feel. I have worn garments 24/7 for 55 years. Interestingly, I never questioned the practice until I got older. I wish now I had given myself permission to wear pretty underwear from time to time when I was young and had the body to do it. When they changed some of the fabric and designs I realized when folding my husband’s garments and mine that they looked exactly the same except his bottoms were noticeably shorter! That’s when I realized the garment was about more than a reminder of covenants made in the temple. It was indeed a way to control what I wear over them. Even some of my modest tee shirts did not fully cover them. The two GC talks in April turned on the rebellion switch in me. I have taken them off for the summer just to see what that felt like physically and spiritually. (I do wear them to church and to the temple where I am (yes) a temple worker. My husband is not alarmed, thank heavens, though he chooses to keep wearing his. He knows my heart and my commitment to God. We have often discussed that we don’t really think of our covenants when we put them on anymore and that something else like a piece of jewelry could just as easily remind us of them and have more impact. So for now I’m quite comfortable. My only regret is that I didn’t wear sleeveless clothes when I had pretty arms. But, you know, shoulders— such a turn on to vulnerable men. Although I guess that wasn’t an issue when my mom wore strapless dresses to dances at BYU back in the ‘40s.
A week ago yesterday marked the 30th anniversary of my own endowment , which means I’ve done a lot of garment wearing. I’ve had issues with them rubbing up sores in sensitive places, so I’ve had to modify my garment-wearing habits, but I still wear them the majority of the time and always felt comfortable in my recommend interviews with That Question. Weirdly, when I went in for my last interview with the new version of the garment question, when the bishop tried to call up the new language on his phone it came up in ASL (no voiceover) so we just chuckled and went with the old wording; the stake president then did it from memory and used the old wording.
Anyway, I’ve noticed over the past three decades that the bottoms have gotten longer (although in all fairness, there is now have an option as to where the waistband goes), and so, as far as I can tell, have the tops. Ugh.
I just feel that there are better issues for our leadership, and hence, we as a church, to be focusing on like, say, loving our neighbors in these decidedly divided times. That’s something I’ve felt more strongly about since April conference – we’re gathered together as the worldwide body of the church and you want to talk about garments? Please. Anyway, about a month ago there was a Southern Baptist convention at which there was a vote taken on banning women as pastors. It was narrowly defeated, but there was quite a lot of talk about it both before and after. During the days leading up to the convention I heard an interview with a female Baptist pastor, who basically said this (I didn’t record it, but I think I’ve got it pretty much right):
They want to maintain power. To maintain power you have to show you have power, and to show you have power you have to exert it.
For me, that hit uncomfortably close to home.
She also said, “Jesus came through the womb of a woman, so his words can come through the mouth of a woman.” (Which has nothing to do with the issue at hand, but I thought it was pretty cool.)
This piece is so wise and beautiful and helpful. Thank you. Symbolism is personal.
In my blue heaven
I will create
Silky soft as butter
Breathable on the bias
Custom fit to my curves
Underclothing
Meant to embrace and enhance
Of such small things is happiness made
Love ❤️
Beautiful. Thank you.
My tears water the white
Woven into sacrificial years
Of various and sundry afflictions
Now a priestess, comprehending
Heavenly Parents never wished
Their daughters needless suffering
I praise Jesus who will free me
And make my heaven joy
Thank you Jody. As always you point a thoughtful viewpoint forward. And I love the punchline – I don’t wear anyone else’s underwear. ❤️
I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one who has been stirred more to rebellion than obedience to the new garment crackdown. I have struggled for most of my adult life with garments. Bra’s sliding around, waistband problems with my digestive disorder, periods, pregnancy, breast feeding…all of those things I have struggled through, crying tears for the angst I have had in these scenarios. But through it all I have walked the straight and narrow; always wearing my garments. Being obedient. But I can’t anymore. I can’t stand to hear a leader comment on “women wearing yoga pants.” This makes me so angry-the judgement that goes along with that comment. Reducing a woman to the pants she wears!
I am so tired of fighting my garments being so tight that they dig into my waist, exacerbating my disease or so loose they flop around my legs. The sizing is inconsistent and frustrating. Not to mention the big bunch of fabric where the shirt and bottoms meet leaving me with an extra lumpy roll around my waist. That’s great for the body image(cue the eye roll).
I am angry to learn that the teaching I received about garments varied by whom taught you. Bras can be worn under your shirts?! I had no idea. It makes me feel so stupid and sheeplike that I didn’t listen to my intuition all those years and just wear my bra under it!!
Then periods! I didn’t know you could wear underwear under your garment during that time. Not that adding another layer of fabric is what I would’ve wanted to do. Trying to get pads to stick to the garments, but then bleeding through and never being able to fully get out the stains on the white fabric. Garments and periods are such a struggle for me.
Looking back garments for me have not been about feeling closer to Christ. They have been about obedience. Doing “what’s right.” I realize that I resent them. They are not something that feels beautiful and sacred to me. It feels like control and body shaming. I see them as a tool that has taken away my autonomy. A tool of conformity and control.
This crack down on garments made me examine my relationship with them. It made me realize that other sister’s were using their own connection with God to make choices with the garment. I realized I am so conformed to this church that I have lost myself. I don’t make choices because I choose them. I do it because that’s what I’m “supposed” to do. I realized that I want to be in charge of me. I don’t want some set of men who have never lived in a woman’s body to set rules for what and how I wear my clothing and underwear. I want embrace the meaning that I have felt with my clothing and not be told what it has to mean to me. My life and experiences are vastly different than those leaders so how can they define what it looks like and means to me?! They can’t. I am taking back my autonomy. I am creating my own meaning. I am not outsourcing my power to someone else. I will choose for myself.
I also rebelled against the stricter rules. I have been slowly moving away from them, but really slowly–a day or two at a time and only when I could convince myself I had a good reason (laundry, I’m going hiking, etc.). Usually on days I didn’t leave the house because some part of me still clings to the myth that garments physically protect me. But a switch flipped that day and I basically stopped wearing them except to go to church. And, unsurprisingly, I’m a lot more comfortable. I just bought clothes that are not wearable with garments for the first time and have left the house for meetings and otherwise just going about my life with my shoulders showing.
lots of cultural things with garments – some are taught the no shirt under the bra, and some aren’t. some are taught never put your garments on the floor. or don’t even let them TOUCH the floor. it’s all so varied.
i know we aren’t supposed to believe they are magical but i know there is power there and when my mom was severely burned in a house fire, the flames literally were stopped at the edges of her garments. i know there’s lot of weird stories out there about this type of thing and i wouldn’t have believed it unless i saw it with my own eyes. when the firefighters cut her clothes off, they were baffled. she healed and is fine but she still has the scars right above her garments. quite insane.
i’m with you – do what you feel like you need to do and leave the rest to the Lord. i am not discussing this type of stuff with my bishop or whoever is interviewing me i just say yes – i’m not going into detail about when i have my period. like come on they don’t want to hear that anyway LOL
good luck to you with your journey in garments.
One of my most favorite principles learned as I study the life and ministry of Jesus Christ is that we are not “one size fits all”. One of my most favorite principles learned when I study the creation in Genesis is that God LOVES variety. So many different kinds of animals, fish, fowl, flowers, and trees! I wish the church organization would stop treating us like we are one size fits all and would acknowledge that variety is a Godly attribute.
Thank you for putting words to the pain and tears that I have struggled to understand and express❤️
Well done! Thank you for sharing your insights and experiences.
Is there a resource for Maxine Hank’s information on a vote by brethern to only wear gatments in the temple?
Thank you – such a worthwhile and insightful post!
Jodi this is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, wisdom, and experience with us.
Growing up, I would hear whispers among the adult women of the ward, “she isn’t wearing her garments” in the same tone they would say, “she has an unwed daughter who is pregnant”. Once someone had been through the temple, the ward ladies seemed to just know. When I got married in the temple and received the garments, I didn’t question it. I even picked up the judgemental attitude. I did have my own issues with the garments. The waistband gave me a rash so I tucked the top into the bottom. I wore the bra on top which in a way was helpful because it reduced the chafing of the bra straps. Nursing babies brought new challenges with the garments and I never thought to ditch them though if I did that part of life now I would ditch the garment tops until baby was weaned.
Hearing about issues that other women have had with these garments have made me realize that just because someone doesn’t wear them doesn’t mean they are apostatizing. I still wear garments continuously, but I no longer care if someone wears them or not and men can just go jump in a lake if they want to tell women what to wear!
Assume you feel like I was wearing men’s underwear…. “ someone else’s underwear.” There is one of the first things that I thought to myself, “I don’t think Jesus made this up… It feels like a plea for control.”
Garments look like men’s underwear…. “ someone else’s underwear.” It was one of the first instances where I thought to myself, “I don’t think Jesus made this up… It feels like a plea for control.”
If a man were asked to wear symbolic underwear that was modeled after a bra and pantries would they wear it?
I remember being at work and a fellow coworker came up to me all excited when we were 20 and she was like ‘I got my G’s’! I was sitting there listening to her excitement about getting her garments while I sat there in my cute VS underwear. I felt bad for her actually. We were young and pretty and all of a sudden she had to wear these things that I had no intention of ever wearing and hearing all of your stories makes me sad for you. I remember my Mom getting ready for church and she would put her garments on, her bra over the top, nylons over the bottoms, a girdle, and lastly a slip!!! Are you kidding me? She was sweating by the time she put her dress on to leave for church. During menopause she was always sweating like crazy trying to follow the rule of always wearing them. I really don’t think God cares what underwear we are wearing. I wear what I want and I am happy. I hope the same for all of you. Just an FYI for the most comfortable panties on the planet are the Fruit of the Loom women’s seamless panties that are breathable, non pinchable & just seriously comfortable. I think God wants us to be happy and happy for other people. Personally I don’t think anyone is protected or getting an award for wearing garments.
Like so many others on this thread I to found the recent crack-down the straw that broke the camel’s back. For 24 years I have worn garments faithfully as instructed. For most of those years it didn’t feel like a problem. That being said I look back and wonder if I was just really good at hiding behind obedience to suppress or ignore garment related issues.
After learning the history of the garment I made the decision to wear them liturgically only. Since that decision 2 months ago I have had a couple insights.
First, over the past decades wearing garments never instilled in me a daily reminder of my covenants or Christ. As I now put them on once or twice a week for liturgical purposes I actually think about the marks/symbols.
Second, I now realize over the past couple years I have had acknowledged pent-up resentment toward the garments. Every single time I stand-up or walk around I have to substantially adjust my clothing or constantly have a wedgie. As a professional I never see others at work need to constantly adjust their clothing and I’m sick of it.
Third, as I have aged moisture in a certain has become an issue and I realize garments were exacerbating the issue.
Fourth, intimacy with my spouse is easier and more desirable.
Last, the biggest unexpected and surprising insight is that garments have prevented me from having any relationship with my physical body. This body that God gave me and saw that it was good. I can now feel the wind hit my skin through my clothing. I can now feel a the earthly sensations touch my skin and I mourn the decades of bodily disconnection I didn’t know I was experiencing.
This connection to my body is a gift I can never again relinquish.