We liked to play Mormon Jeopardy and similar things with the Young Men when I was in Young Women. I was told several times that I needed to just sit quietly and let the Young Men answer because I was intimidating them. I was told that everyone knows I know the answers and it wasn’t fair to the other team. But it was emphasized that I intimidated the Young Men. (Though I’m still pretty proud of myself for being able to rattle off the Scout Oath even after all the leaders said I could pick a different challenge since I was a girl.)
– Caiti Hunting
I think that it’s telling when our organizations are called “auxiliaries,” which literally means “not needed.” Sigh.
– Jennifer
When I was serving in the stake Relief Society presidency as a Young Single Adult, Elder Ballard came to speak in our stake conference. All of the stake leadership were invited to attend a lunch before the meeting. Except the stake Relief Society presidency. We were just asked to prepare the food and serve it. No one invited us to stay.
– Ashley Galyean
One of the most accomplished bow-hunting women in the western U.S. was in our ward, and she offered to do a bow hunting class for her daughter’s Young Women group a few years ago. She was turned down because bow hunting is not a suitable feminine pursuit. (Hence, she wouldn’t be welcome to teach the boys, either)
– Swiss Miss
When I was in Young Women (a long time ago), we would go in a classroom and have a lesson while the boys played dodgeball in the gym – EVERY WEEK.
– Pam Clark
Pro Tip: Pay attention to the inequity between the male and female auxiliaries in your ward. Welcome female authorities and recognize and include female leadership in leadership training settings.
Click here to read all of the stories in our #hearLDSwomen series. Has anything like this happened to you? Please share in the comments or submit your experience(s) to participate in the series.
“If any man have ears to hear, let him hear.” (Mark 4:23)
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The young women’s president in my ward wanted to do a high adventure with the girls. The bishop told her it was dangerous to do with the youth and expensive. She argued that the young men had some a very similar activity approved by him not too long ago. She called him out as being discriminatory. He eventually agreed and approved the activity, but she had to convince him first.
Everything is male-oriented. We sing that Christ died that men might live. We sing that we would love our brother. All of these inequalities add up and bleed into other areas of the Church. Full gender parity is required at all levels if we expect the leadership to treat women equally.
Our heaven is very male-oriented as well.
Wow, the first story is especially striking to me. Like how obvious can we be that YM/YW activities are (at least sometimes) designed to stroke the YMs’ egos?
I was called as Mia maid president shortly after moving into a new ward. I had several “new” ideas for activities to do that I had enjoyed in the past ward. Every one of them got turned down by the bishop as not okay for girls to do. My young woman leader told me was sorry, but proud of me for continuing to speak up to the bishop dispite him turning me down. Several of those activities were enjoyed by the young men throughout the next year.
Around 2009-2013, I was a counselor in the stake Relief Society Presidency. Same thing!! We had to plan and male.a.dinner for thr stake leaders for a meal between the leadership session and adult session. During that time, there were two occasions a GA visited. Yet the leadership sat in that lunch in the RS room and listened to the GA. Meanwhile we served the meal, then shut the door between the RS tokm.and kitchen and ate our meal standing at thr kitchen counters. To me, we could have been invited to be at the table, and bring our spouse, or in my case, as a single, a date!