Have you ever felt like everything is finally making sense? …..like your questions are being answered? I hope so. Today I’ll share snippets of ideas that have brightened my outlook and revived my spirituality. It’s a bit like a scripture chase modified into an ‘idea chase’.
The first idea is Divine Absence, which I originally heard of on Gina Colvin’s podcasts. Gina mentioned that she felt as though God had moved from one corner of the room to another. Gina turned her attention to the other corner and followed God there. It was counter-culture to think that way, as we have been taught to be steadfast and immovable, perhaps always looking in the same direction for God. But what happens when we are not able to find God where we once found The Divine? What happens when God seems to be absent and our seeking, asking and knocking go unanswered?
Hold that thought as we explore another idea I originally heard on a podcast with Richard Rohr. He was being interviewed on the relationship between the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
He shared a football analogy that I am hijacking, bending and suiting to this discussion.
Imagine a football field with players lined up on the scrimmage line. The quarterback hurls the football forward as the team pushes through.
Imagine the quarterback is Heavenly Father and the football is Jesus Christ. Jesus goes out ahead, moving on, urging us to follow. In the moments when Jesus is in flight we are without him. We experience that Divine Absence. We scramble, push, fall, get up and press forward to meet him. According to Rohr’s analogy the Holy Spirit runs interference and enlivens us to go forward. The other team isn’t necessarily real people, but our shadow selves and the circumstances that trip us up. Remember also that in football, each quarter, the teams turn and face the opposite goal post. The location of the goal changes. Isn’t this like God showing up in a different corner of the room, or football field, or church, or universe? Jesus goes forward, sometimes without us, yet inviting us to find him, to catch up, to turn around and head down the field in a new direction.
Next, a Zen Koan, I first heard on Noah Rasheta’s podcast. Paraphrasing…A student approaches the Zen Master asking, “How can I learn more? I want to understand enlightenment. I want to reach that point.” The Master says, “Sit down. Let’s talk. Let me pour you a cup of tea.” They sit together and the Master pours tea into the student’s cup until it overflows from the cup, to the table. The student says, “Its full, stop pouring. Its spilling.” The Master says, “You are like this cup of tea. Once you are full, you can’t fit more tea, no matter how much is being poured in. When you approach me seeking to understand enlightenment, you already have a concept of what it is. So you’re not going to be able to accept any new information. Go, empty your cup, and come back once it’s empty.”
This led to a quote by Deepak Chopra from his novel, The 13th Disciple, page 146.
“To meet God as a reality, you have to reach the zero point, where there is faith in nothing. At the zero point every false idea about God has been abandoned. You cry with all your heart, ‘Show yourself as you really are. I’m finished with fakes. Either show yourself, or I am lost.’”
This quote resonated strongly within me.
There was a point when I was so sure I knew the truth that I was blind to anything else. I glibly dismissed other ideas or ways of worshiping or being. When my shelves crashed I looked everywhere, but my proverbial cup was still full of dogmas and doctrines. For a time I couldn’t get past that. There was “no room in my inn-box.” I began slowly to listen to others, to hear their ideas, to see things from different vantage points.
I clearly remember a prayer where I said, “I just want to know the truth. I’ll deal with it, whatever it is, but please just help me find the truth.” Literally the next morning I woke up in Divine Absence, or so it seemed. I no longer ‘knew’ (as in testimony bearing) things I had previously believed in. That was a gift. I believe God had moved to a different corner of the room or changed direction on the field and invited me to empty my cup so I could follow where The Divine was leading. But it was SOOOO painful. It was (and still is at times) so painful and scary and isolating.
That was a few years ago. Since then I have grown into this new way of ‘being.’ I have been led to others who understand my journey. I am able to view things with a new lens. Recently at church the story of Zacchaeus was shared. You may recall Zacchaeus was a tax collector and a man of short stature. Jesus was coming to his town and Zacchaeus wanted to see him. Being resourceful he climbed a sycamore tree, so he could see over the crowd as Jesus walked by. Jesus stopped at the tree, looked up, saw Zacchaeus and told him that he wanted to have dinner at his home that evening. Zacchaeus scrambled down and went ahead to prepare dinner for Jesus.
Do we at times, have trouble finding God because of the crowd? Because of the obscured view? Because of the rules? Do we want to climb to higher ground? Where is the tree with the vantage point?
Perhaps the vantage point is actually lower ground, sitting on the floor, meditating. I have begun a mediation practice called Centering Prayer in which you are invited to free your mind from thought and attention. The goal is not to empty your thoughts so as to have some mystical experience. The goal is to learn to let go of thoughts while meditating, so that during your day to day life you can also let go of thoughts that drag you into judgment. It is a pathway to being more balanced and less binary.
Another scripture, paraphrased and re-purposed…..”A Bible, A Bible, we have a bible, and have no need for more” What if this scripture is not so much about people not accepting the Book of Mormon, as it is about LDS not accepting anything beyond our own canon of scripture, authority and doctrine? This scripture was discussed on Dan Wotherspoon’s podcast recently, with the prompt to open our minds to other wisdom that is available. It’s exciting to learn new things! There is so much out there.
In closing, one more scripture reference about new wine not being able to fit in old wine skins lest the wine skins burst. I don’t know much about wine, but I gather that new wine expands and stretches the container it is in. So it is with us. If we want to hold more wine, more tea, more living water we need to become new wine skins, empty cups, new creatures.
Discussion questions:
In what ways have you experienced Divine Absence on the path to spiritual growth?
What practices have you incorporated into your spiritual life?
What have you found in addition to the standard works that resonates with you as scripture or sacred resources?
I had never thought of those ideas before. I especially liked the one about divine absence, that we have to search after God and not wait for him to come to us. Your post was very enlightening and uplifting!
This is a thought-provoking post. Thank you for taking the time to share your insights with us. <3
I read this post and felt like you were talking about me! You are quite a bit further down the road than I am, but this explains everything so well. It really helps that I am not alone in this. I especially felt you speaking to me with Deepak Chapra’s quote from his book, and when you said “There was a point when I was so sure I knew the truth that I was blind to anything else. I glibly dismissed other ideas or ways of worshiping or being. When my shelves crashed I looked everywhere, but my proverbial cup was still full of dogmas and doctrines. For a time I couldn’t get past that. There was “no room in my inn-box.” I began slowly to listen to others, to hear their ideas, to see things from different vantage points.” This is where I am. I am a convert to the Church, so I chose this 36 years ago. I was all-in for at least 33 of those years. I have felt like everything I have believed has just crumbled away. The only foundation I have left is my solid belief and faith in Jesus Christ as my Savior. This has been terribly frightening for me. Where before I felt safe, so much a part of something big, now I feel like I am standing on the outside trying desperately to figure out where I belong and what direction I should go.
You asked where else we go to be spiritually fed. I have been reading books and listening to sermons from other denominations. Right now I am coming to finally understand grace. Our Church does not teach it well at all. Coming to truly understand this is giving me peace. I have had to stay away from the Old Testament. I don’t know if I believe much in it. I know I do not believe polygyny (or polygamy) is a true principle. I am now thinking it was created by men in this fallen world, because to believe in a Heavenly Father that practices this is too much for me to accept. I am just taking each day as it comes and am desperately trying to build a foundation of belief back up again.
Thank you for writing this. It gave words to my many thoughts.
Dani, Wendy, PJP, thank you all for your comments.
PJP, We have much in common. I am also an adult convert for approximately 30 years. We share the common foundation in Christ. As you seek you will find what you are looking for, one day at a time. All my best wishes to you.
Allemande Left, you put so much thought and care into your writing. It is so clear how intentional you have been in your journey in seeking out new, enriching, nourishing perspectives of seeing the world. Thank you for taking the time to articulate these ideas.