Some topics, like if and how to wear garments, divide Mormon women from each other and from Ex-Mormon women. But I’ve started to wonder, might a shared love for romance novels be the thing that unites us all?
When work is busy and stressful, I like to escape into fun books. During finals while in grad school, that meant I might reread the entire Twilight series. More recently, as a historian and busy mom of four, that has been listening to spicy romance audiobooks—Emily Henry books, the A Court of Thorns and Roses series, Fourth Wing, etc.
While booktok affectionately calls these novels “smut” because of their adult sex scenes—scenes that led the Utah Legislature to ban the ACOTAR series from public schools—I’ve learned that there are different levels of explicitness to romance novels and that the books I’ve been reading rank as “spicy” rather than “smut” by those in the know. These books have far more heat than the closed-door, sweet romances sold at Deseret Book (Hi, author friends of mine who write some of these!), but far less than the extreme end of erotica. And then there are tons of subgenres—Regency romance, dark romance, romantasy, hockey romance, and more.
Though the novels I mentioned are wildly popular best sellers, it has still surprised me that when I post about these books on social media, I get comments from what I’d consider a full spectrum of current and former LDS women. From active, believing, calling-holding, temple-attending women to those who left the church right after high school and never looked back, the whole spectrum seems to be reading and loving these books. Caroline wrote in 2011 about noticing this same phenomenon among women in her wards.
I have some thoughts on what draws Mormon women raised in purity culture to these novels, like the chance to explore sexual topics and ideas in a safe environment, but we are also just participating in the larger culture. We’re peculiar, but not that peculiar.
I live in Utah County, and our first romance-only bookstore opened this week. It’s called Lagg and is located on Main Street in Lehi. This is NOT a sponsored post, but I visited the store and thought it was a vibe. Cute displays, book merch, and an Instagram-worthy photo opp wall. If my social media feed is any indication, both active and ex-Mormon women are flocking to the store. Is this a sign that our too-divided, judgemental culture is healing?
Do you read romance novels? And at what spice level? Do you live in an area with a romance-only bookstore?
11 Responses
Spicy romance novels have absolutely united me with my active member friends! My LDS friends introduced me to them!
And that book store is darling. I got to visit it this week, too. My spiciness level is a three-four 😉
Love it when romance novels bring friends together!
I truly hope healing is happening. I was a member of my ward’s bookclub and one of the books we read was twilight. We had our biggest turnout ever but the conversation turned when a sister with a YW calling said that these books are completely inappropriate because of the “feelings” they induce and added that it’s portrayal of romance was unrealistic as her husband was the person who had hurt her the most in her life. It got sad and tense and we didn’t read similar books going forward.
Sad! I hope that woman has had some healing.
I’ve noticed this too! Some of my friends, and sister in laws will post about reading some books that I’m surprised about. Not because I think the books are bad, I’ve read them too, but because I wouldn’t have expected someone who’s more orthodox to have read some of these books.
I’ve read “spicy” books for a while now, but I’ve never felt like I could really talk or post about them online because it doesn’t feel like something an “active” member of the church “should” be reading. So I just keep my books to myself for the most part. And get recommendations from booktok.
I’m definitely still in the beginning stages of unmasking who I present myself as to orthodox lds members. And I’ve really enjoyed that other LDS women feel comfortable talking and sharing about what they like reading.
No one owes social media everything about their lives, but I wonder if you’ll be surprised about who else reads the books you read!
I love this idea that spicy romance novels by female authors are the things uniting women across the Mormon spectrum! I started reading Throne of Glass and other romantasy novels to connect with my post Mormon sisters. Love it!
Sisters who read spicy romance novels together. . . have fun? 🙂
Highly recommend romance.io for a quick way to evaluate the heat level and tropes in romance books! It uses a 1-5 scale, where 1 is kissing (think most YA novels) and 5 is plentiful explicit scenes. I mostly read romance that ranks as a 4 (sex happens and is described on the page), but will probably bump up to 5 soon because I write romance, and a piece of advice I got a long time ago is to read one heat level above what you write.
Also, for those just starting to dip their toes into romance, I strongly recommend starting with books published in the past 10 years. Romance trends move quickly, and a lot of books published 15+ years ago haven’t aged particularly well, because conversations about female sexuality have evolved. Dubious or nonexistent consent appears in a lot of older romance, and it’s worth keeping that in mind if you start reading it. The biggest exception to this that I’ve found is the queen herself, Nora Roberts (who also publishes as J.D. Robb).
I have never discussed romance books in-person with church folks (probably because I’m still working through the scars of my seminary teacher saying romance book covers were porn), but I regularly talk about them in a discord server with Mormon and ex-Mormon friends. I’m by far the biggest reader of them in the group, but I love recommending a book and hearing back from a friend who read it and enjoyed it.
For our romantasy readers: I highly recommend T. Kingfisher’s Saint of Steel series. If you’re interested in reading MM, I loved A Taste of Gold and Iron and wish it had a sequel!
I mostly read historical romance, and love: Tessa Dare, Sarah MacLean, Joanna Shupe, Courtney Milan, Maya Banks, Lisa Kleypas, Adriana Herrera, and Eloisa James. Alice Coldbreath is at the top of my TBR, and I enjoyed the one Mary Balogh novel I’ve read.
For contemporary, I enjoy: Lucy Parker, Alyssa Cole, Ally Carter, Meg Cabot, and Nora Roberts. I have a very long TBR list here, including Marie Force, Ana Huang, Elle Kennedy, and Tessa Bailey.
I love contemporary romance with quite a bit of spice. I’m 71 and was raised with “pure thoughts only” mindset which does not serve you in a loving marriage. Historical Christianity has long preached suppressing sexual desires as well as any other earthly pleasures as the way to being fit for heavenly glory. Though believers teach LDS religion is a restoration, we certainly came out of the Reformation and more so strict Calvinists (at least my all the way back ancestors – 5 to 7 generations on all sides). No room for a healthy, loving and (heaven forbid) playful sex life. At it’s heart though, Romance is a HEA, A mate that always puts you first, someone who never violates consent and one that lets their spouse shine to their utmost. Why wouldn’t we all love these
Thanks for the recommendations, Jessa!