Earlier this week on facebook, a well-meaning friend chastened me for wanting to force the hand of God, including in his short lecture: “don’t leave the faith”.

Because we are in the season of Easter, I am reflecting on this statement, but with a change of one word: “don’t leave my faith”. My faith is in Christ – and I can’t imagine that I would ever leave Him.

In John chapter 6, we read the account of the Savior feeding the five thousand. This is followed by His sermon on the Bread of Life. Some of His followers do not understand the prophetic declarations in this sermon and so, leave Jesus in search of physical bread.

“Then said Jesus unto the twelve, Will ye also go away?
Then Simon Peter answered him, Lord, to whom shall we go?
Thou hast the words of eternal life. We believe and are sure that thou art that Christ, the Son of the living God.”

I feel the same as Peter.

Christ has been my rock and my pasture in my brightest times and my darkest moments. I love Him. I desperately need His grace. I never want to leave Him.

“His presence shall my wants supply, And guard me with a watchful eye:
To fertile vales, and dewy meads – My weary, wandering steps he leads:
My noon-day walks he shall attend, And all my midnight hours defend.”
(The Lord My Pasture will Prepare – #109)

No time in my life demonstrates the presence of the Savior in my life more clearly than the time I struggled with cancer.

In July 2012, I sat alone in my small Honda Civic slowly absorbing the words I had just heard from my doctor and trying not to cry. I had a 25 cm cyst in my abdomen that needed to be surgically removed immediately before damage was done to my internal organs. I had no health insurance, no job, and nowhere to live to recover from such a surgery. I didn’t know then that I had cancer or that my journey would include a major surgery and six months of chemotherapy.

I find that in the darkest times, the light of God is seen most easily; it is the only thing that shines. So it was with me at this time of cancer. The light did shine. And the miracles did happen: My health insurance was unbelievably reinstated. I felt the overwhelming power of priesthood blessings. I was assigned to the most capable surgeon – who diagnosed my cancer and saved my life. I was cared for by friends and family who reflected God’s light. I was given great comfort directly from my Savior; hearing His voice many times: “I am with you. I am always with you.”

“I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angles round about you, to bear you up.” (D&C 84:88)

“I’ll strengthen you, help you, and cause you to stand.
Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.”
(How Firm a Foundation – #85)

All of this light was deeply pressed on my heart. And I will not forget.

On this Palm Sunday, we, with all Christendom, hail Him as our King and look with eager eyes to Easter Sunday when HOPE is made fresh again in the world.

“He is Risen! Tell it out with joyful voice.
He has burst the three days’ prison; let the whole wide word rejoice.
Death is conquered. We are free. Christ has won – the victory.”
(He Is Risen – #199)