An oft-recited proverb reads:
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Proverb 3:5-6
The second half of this proverb contains a beautiful promise. How often do we feel confused or uncertain and wish for divine guidance to direct our path? The proverb tells us to achieve this promise, we must trust in the Lord with all our hearts rather than depending on our own understanding. But when we hear God’s words, whether it be through the scriptures, modern church leaders, or our own spiritual impressions, our own understanding is the only filter we have to interpret this guidance. How can we be certain about where the Lord is guiding us?
In General Conference, Elder Paul B. Pieper encouraged us to build a relationship of trust with God. I hope that as we build a trusting relationship with God, we will better be able to understand how God is directing us. Elder Pieper pointed out that God has already demonstrated his perfect trust in in us by allowing us to make our own choices, even when we are likely to make mistakes. But a relationship of trust requires trust on both sides, and as imperfect mortals, we struggle to reciprocate with perfect trust in God. (See Paul B. Pieper, Trust in the Lord, April 2024)
Trust that God is good
Elder Pieper pointed out a common barrier to trust:
[We] have all experienced a betrayal of trust as the result of dishonesty, manipulation, coercion, or other circumstances. Once betrayed, we may struggle to trust again. These negative trust experiences with imperfect mortals may even impact our willingness to trust in a perfect Heavenly Father.
Elder Paul B. Pieper, Trust in the Lord, April 2024
We believe that humans are created in the image of God. But at times, we may skew this doctrine and picture a God created in the image of humans. We witness imperfect human leaders exercising their authority in flawed ways and assume that God would do the same.
When I was younger, I discussed a concern I had about the actions of some of the early prophets of the church with my bishop. My bishop, a mere mortal doing his best to serve as a representative of Christ on Earth, tried to bolster my testimony of past Latter-day Saint prophets by telling me, “Don’t blame them for what they did. They were good men. Blame God. Prophets do God’s will.”
I know that my bishop was well-intended and only wanted to bolster my testimony of church leaders. But as I have matured, I have found that blaming God for mortal failings is never the answer. It is more important that I trust that God is good than that I trust that human church leaders always make the right decisions.
Elder Pieper taught that one way to build our trust in God is to:
Patiently continue to learn more about Heavenly Father, His character, His attributes, and His purposes.
Elder Paul B. Pieper, Trust in the Lord, April 2024
When I see mere mortals representing God in flawed ways, whether they be leaders of the church or Sacrament meeting speakers like me, I keep in mind what I know about God.
King Benjamin used these words to describe God: goodness, power, wisdom, patience, long-suffering. (Mosiah 4:6) The apostle John taught, “God is love.” (1 John 4:8)
Jane Harper Neyman’s story
An example of a person from church history who did not let the mistakes of church leaders disrupt her trust in God was Jane Harper Neyman. She was the first member of the church to be baptized for the dead. Joseph Smith first announced the doctrine of baptism for the dead at the funeral service of Seymour Brunson in Nauvoo in 1840. Joseph looked at Jane, who was seated in the audience, and said that:
This widow should have glad tidings through the doctrine of baptism for the dead. He told the Saints that the people could now act for their friends who had departed this life, and that the plan of salvation was calculated to save all who were willing to obey the requirements of the law of God.
The Joseph Smith Papers, Episode 3: “A Welding Link”
One month later, Jane was baptized in the Mississippi River on behalf of her recently deceased son, Cyrus, with Harvey Olmstead performing the baptism and Vienna Jaques serving as witness. (The Joseph Smith Papers, Episode 3: “A Welding Link” )
Note that at the first proxy baptism, a woman was baptized on behalf of a man with a female witness. After Joseph Smith’s death, Brigham Young announced a new rule requiring people to perform proxy baptisms only for people of their same sex, which remains in place today. (M. Guy Bishop, “What Has Become of Our Fathers?” Baptism for the Dead at Nauvoo, Dialogue 23(2)). I don’t know when the longstanding rule that only men could serve as baptismal witnesses began, but it was not in place when Vienna Jaques served as the first baptismal witness and was finally revoked in 2019. (Church News, Women Can Serve as Witnesses for Baptisms, Temple Sealings, First Presidency Announces, Oct. 2, 2019)
Only two years later, two of Jane’s daughters were deeply wronged by a male church leader who used his priesthood authority to deceive and seduce them. The women of the Nauvoo Relief Society blamed Jane for the scandal and barred her from Relief Society. Despite this betrayal by both male and female church leaders, Sister Neyman never stopped trusting God and went on to serve as president of her local Relief Society two decades later. (Be Forbearing and Forgiving, Jane H. Neyman, At the Pulpit: 185 Years if Discourses of Discourses by Latter-day Saint Women)
She taught,
All to be forbearing and forgiving; refraining as much as possible from scrutinizing the conduct of our neighbors, remembering always that we are human and must therefore err.
Jane Neyman, Beaver First Ward, Beaver Stake, Relief Society Minutes, vol. 1, 1868–1878, Nov. 4, 1869, reported in At the Pulpit: 185 Years if Discourses of Discourses by Latter-day Saint Women
Record experiences with God
Another way that Elder Pieper taught that we can build our trust in God is to:
Look for and record experiences feeling His love and power in your life.
Elder Paul B. Pieper, Trust in the Lord, April 2024
Job’s Story
In the Book of Job in the Bible, Job spoke of how he needed to write down his testimony:
23 Oh that my words were now written! oh that they were printed in a book!
Job 19:23
Then he realized that even writing it down would not be quite permanent enough, and said,
24 That they were graven with an iron pen and lead in the rock for ever!
Job 19:24-26
25 For I know that my redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth:
26 And though after my skin worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God:
I think part of the reason Job wanted his testimony to be written down, or better yet, to be engraven in stone, was because he knew his testimony would fluctuate, and he wanted to preserve his spiritual memories to hold onto in the hard times, when he wasn’t feeling it.
Take a step
Only a few chapters later, Job wrote of one of these hard times, when he could not feel God’s presence.
8 Behold, I go forward, but he is not there; and backward, but I cannot perceive him:
Job 23:8–11
9 On the left hand, where he doth work, but I cannot behold him: he hideth himself on the right hand, that I cannot see him:
10 But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold.
11 My foot hath held his steps, his way have I kept, and not declined.
In this last verse, Job describes another way we can build our trust with God, by continuing to step forward even when we feel uncertain.
Eliza R. Snow, the author of many of our hymns and one of the church’s first General Relief Society presidents, taught:
When you see one step before you, take it, and do not wait to see where is the next—if we see one step, it is not for us to stand still until we can see the way clear in the distance, but move forward and the way will be opened before us, step by step. This is a principle. God requires us to make the effort and thus prove our faith and trust in him, and then he is sure to extend his aid.
Eliza R. Snow, Let Us Cultivate Ourselves, Feb. 18, 1869, At the Pulpit: 185 Years if Discourses of Discourses by Latter-day Saint Women
Peter’s Story
The Bible shares a story of a time when the apostle Peter practiced his trust in God by literally taking a step. He was boating with other disciples on a stormy night and they saw Jesus walking on the water at a distance. At first, they didn’t realize it was him and they were scared. But Jesus called out, “Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid.”
As soon as Peter recognized Jesus, he wanted to join him. He replied, “Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water.”
Jesus agreed, and Peter stepped out of the boat and did the impossible. He walked on water.
It didn’t last for very long. After a few steps, Peter got scared and began to fall, but Jesus caught him and they safely returned to the boat together.
We often focus on the part of the story when Peter’s faith faltered and he began to fall. But I would like us to look back a little further and think about how Peter did the impossible, if only for a few steps. When Christ told Peter to come, he dared to try, and was rewarded with miraculous abilities, even if only for a short time. (Matthew 14:25-33)
Lucy Mack Smith’s Story
In church history, Lucy Mack Smith’s trust in God made it possible for over 100 Mormon pioneers to cross dangerous waters.
Lucy Mack Smith was leading a group of 80 church members from Fayette, New York to Kirtland, Ohio. At a time when male leadership was the default, it says a lot about the respect these pioneers had for Lucy Mack Smith, mother of the prophet Joseph Smith, that her peers chose her to lead the wagon train even though male priesthood holders were available in the group. Her responsibilities included leading religious devotionals and taking charge of logistics such as finances, food and lodging.
When they reached Buffalo Harbor in New York, they found another group of Mormon pioneers already camped there. They had been stalled for a week because the water was frozen and boats could not ferry across it. Leaders of this other group encouraged Sister Smith to lay low and avoid sharing their religious identity with the locals while they waited for the ice to break. They worried that if people knew they were Mormon, they would bar them from the ferry.
Lucy Mack Smith valued authenticity, and hiding her identity would not work for her. Instead of keeping a low profile, she boldly testified of her beliefs to the local crowds from the deck of the parked steamboat.
At the end of her speech, she said,
And now, brethren and sisters, if you will, all of you, raise your desires to heaven that the ice may give way before us and we be set at liberty to go on our way, as sure as the Lord lives it shall be done.
Where Is Your Confidence in God? By Lucy Mack Smith, May 1831, At the Pulpit: 185 Years if Discourses of Discourses by Latter-day Saint Women
Just as she finished speaking, “a noise was heard like bursting thunder, and the captain cried out, ‘Every man to his post!’ and the ice parted, leaving barely a pathway for the boat.” (Where Is Your Confidence in God? By Lucy Mack Smith, May 1831, At the Pulpit: 185 Years if Discourses of Discourses by Latter-day Saint Women)
I admit that when I need to cross dangerous waters, I usually use modern aids like bridges and airplanes. I don’t try to walk on water like Peter or publicly command ice to break like Lucy Mack Smith. But then, I don’t think I’ve yet developed the kind of trusting relationship Peter and Lucy Mack Smith had with God. Even so, I think all of us have opportunities in our lives to demonstrate our trust by taking a step when we feel uncertain, and letting God direct our path forward.
This is the transcript of a Sacrament Meeting talk delivered by the author in her home ward in South Jordan, Utah in May 2024.
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I didn’t know Jane Harper Neyman’s story. This is a lovely talk, thank you for sharing!
Sr. Neyman’s story smacks of ecclesiastical abuse. Nauvoo was a hot mess. The Lucy Mack Smith story was debunked a few years ago, and I’m sorry that I don’t remember the source, but like Job and other parables, it has a message of connection to God to direct one’s paths, which is certainly our privilege as humans in this planet, and that is the good news of Jesus Christ. Modern church leaders are corporate executives who’ve shown their allegiance to the top leader, come what may. It doesn’t mean they’re bad, just rarely worth following. I love that you were asked to speak, your message shines!
I’m pretty sure I’d heard before (and forgot) that the first baptism for the dead was a female being baptized for a dead male, with a woman as the witness. Thanks for reminding me of that forgotten fact! If it didn’t make the ordinances invalid in Joseph Smith’s time for the gender not to match, why is the handbook so strict about it now? And why couldn’t trans and non-binary people have temple recommends to go do temple work for their ancestors?
Anyway, great sacrament meeting talk. (I would’ve clapped.)
Yes, the first time I heard this story, it was mentioned in a talk by a church historian, who explained it away by saying that it took time for church members to figure out the right way to do baptisms for the dead. The historian assumed that the current rules were the right ones. I don’t share her assumption, and since then, the rules have changed again, since now women may be witnesses again. I would love to see other arbitrary restrictions about which gender can do what for whom also removed.
I’ve never heard of Jane, she was amazing! Thank you for sharing 💕
I’d have liked to have read more about how or whether Jane defended her daughters. That part is especially troubling to read.
I would too! But I did not find anything about it in At the Pulpit, the book I used as a source for this talk, or in the Woman’s Exponent article At the Pulpit referenced. If any other readers know of a source to learn more about this history, I would love for you to share it!
This is such an important point, I appreciate you writing about this. I have talked about this with other women lately. A few years ago, I lost all remaining willingness to be open to the idea that polygamy might have been inspired by God. I came to believe it was due to Joseph Smith’s mental health struggles and mistakes. And I see a lot of other women around me arriving at the same interpretive stance, often because of personal experiences with abuse, betrayal, mental illness, etc. The “faithful” narrative is simply inconsistent with our lived experiences and spiritual experiences. I can see that the old story I had was that God was misogynistic, inconsistent and sometimes cruel, while Joseph was reluctantly obedient and faithful. I realized that that narrative was really wacko and didn’t make any theological sense. Why should I trust the perspective of one man who was sleeping with a bunch of women and getting lots of attention, rather than trust my own instincts and trust God wouldn’t betray and harm women like that? Moving to this space hasn’t been all roses. It has led to a lot of doubt and discomfort and feeling much more on the edge, and I know the institutional church doesn’t support me in this view. But it has also been really healthy and healing to my mental health and relationship with God. And I don’t dread a horrible and misogynistic afterlife anymore.
“Why should I trust the perspective of one man who was sleeping with a bunch of women and getting lots of attention, rather than trust my own instincts and trust God wouldn’t betray and harm women like that?” – Emma H.
I agree with you that trusting the perspective of one man – especially a man with those characteristics isn’t going to be helpful.
I agree that learning to trust our internal instincts and our spiritual authority (both personal and communal) is the scary, transformative next step.
I found peace from the tension of “the spiritual authority of others” (in this case, the tension between trusting your personal spiritual authority vs the spiritual authority of Joseph Smith as it was doctrinally and culturally authorized) from this blog post:
https://exponentii.org/blog/dont-seek-answers-from-those-not-asking-your-questions/
I found that as I no longer expected church leaders to have the authority to answer questions meaningful to me – I found greater internal peace (which was in part what I needed to become a better person). I am hopeful that this link resonates with you also.