When I was growing up my Mom referred to herself (facetiously I now realize) as “The Fount of All Knowledge.” She comes by the title honestly, having a BA, an MLS, an MA and a PhD. Like a good reference librarian, if she didn’t know the answer, she knew where you could find it. If I asked her something unanswerable, like “did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons?” she would refer to me to The Great Information Booth in the Sky. Evidently when you die, there is an information kiosk staffed by angels to provide you with answers to all your questions.
I have found the thought of the celestial information booth to be very comforting for a variety of reasons. I hate unsolved mysteries and it is nice to think I will be able to sit down and watch video footage and find out who dunnit. Who was Jack the Ripper? I’ll just queue up and find out. Ever wonder why God made some bugs look so gross? Do you ask yourself why there wasn’t a better solution than menstruation? It’s all there.
Recently I’ve been yearning for access to the information booth right now. There are some questions that are far more important than why centipedes need to exist. (Though really, why?!) Who is my Heavenly Mother? Why don’t women have the priesthood? What was the deal with polygamy, anyway?
So my question for you is this. You can get one informational pamphlet from the Great Information Booth in the Sky right now. It isn’t a lot of information, a few paragraphs, some images or diagrams, maybe a few bullet points. But it is all information that we do not currently have. What brochure would you like to receive from the Celestial Chamber of Commerce?
I will tell you mine. My grammy died in early November. She was not a member of the church, nor was she particularly religiously active. My grandpa died twenty-eight years ago, also not LDS. I want to know what she is doing in a very real day-to-day sense. I don’t want vague platitudes about missionaries, and I definitely do not like imagining her in Spirit Prison.
Who comes in the welcoming committee? Was Grandpa there waiting? Do you get issued robes right away? My Grammy was very self-conscious about not being very stylish and not fitting in with well-dressed people. Will there be an orientation week for new arrivals explaining the schedule? Will there be tours of the facilities? What about showing up to your own funeral or the temple? What are the guidelines for hovering near the living? Is she happy? Is she scared by new things? Are you allowed to be snarky in the hereafter, because if not I’m not sure what she’ll do. Is there a botanical garden to poke around? Is there a Sunday Crossword, or did the cranky old ladies who declare Sunday Newspapers Are of Satan win the day? I’d just like an orientation schedule, site map and a few key facts. Where do I send my request?
13 Responses
I love this.
I would personally most like to receive the “Who is my Heavenly Mother?” brochure, or alternatively, the “How do I feel closer to my grandparents-who-are-there?” brochure.
In the first, I would like a picture, (brief) biography, lists of likes and dislikes, list of involvement in creation/salvation/etc., and several letters, from her to me. And: I would somehow like to know what her voice sounds like.
I want that Heavenly Mother brochure. That would probably be top of my list.
Beautiful post, Em.
I want to know if temple ordinances really are necessary. It seems to me that since very few of God’s children will ever have them, it is really an impossible requirement. If everything will be “worked out in the millenium”, then why bother with it now? Is there are brochure on this, or will the answer be obvious? The ordinance work which has been done already is a mess of people not sealed to the correct ancestor, so what is the point? There are a lot of people to whom I am not related that I would prefer to spend eternity with than those I am.
I strongly believe that the afterlife is a place of love and joy and that we will experience indescribable peace there. I would like a pamphlet that would outline which aspects of the Church and other religions are true and which are false. I suspect because God truly is love, God will receive those of His children who have done their best to love during mortality with open arms, regardless of their religious preferences.
This is what I would like to know, too. I just listened to an interesting podcast on Mormon Matters re: Near Death Experiences (it’s the most recent podcast). http://mormonmatters.org/2013/01/29/149-150-near-death-experiences/
Anyway, the account by Jeff Olsen in Part 2 of the podcast is fascinating, and he talks about exactly what you said, Chris, as far as indescribable love and peace for ALL people in the here and now and in the hereafter. I’d recommend listening to this podcast–interesting if anything.
p.s. as to what I think it is like there: I think it is very much like how it is here. Everyone mixed together, the “good” and the “bad” and everyone else in between (who is really all of us, or almost all of us). I think that prison won’t be very prison like for people with sincere hearts, and I agree with the above statement, that God will accept who He/She will accept, and that it might surprise us.
If anything, I think folks unbaptized/unordinanced when they get there will just have a tad bit more waiting for a resurrection than others. But, I hope that will be the biggest difference. And, like you, Em, I hope that those we love can keep the characteristics so inherent to their personalities. Otherwise, what part of them is really them?
Well, I’ll be the petty one here, but my #1 question is: Will I appear in my made-up face? Then, of course, polygamy comes next.
I have so many. I remember writing something about wanting to ask about dinosaurs when I was younger. I’ve definitely asked these questions:
-menstruation
-Heavenly Mother
-polygamy
-all-powerful God
-all-loving God
-is God biased against women because of His own culture, so He doesn’t even know it
-garments
-coffee
-donuts
-Old Testament
etc.
I’m non-LDS and I want to know where I’ll be able to see my adopted LDS daughter and her family. She says she won’t be able to be with me in the afterlife but I told her I’d look everywhere until I found her. I’d like to have a map of where everyone is/will be.
I want to know if there is a room for Mormons and a separate room for the rest of the heathens as they choose to not to be baptized.
I want to know if these same heathens will still be able to get to heaven if they refuse baptism for the dead.
I want to know if Mother Theresa will still have her glory or will she be cast out(as many Mormons claim she will)
And the ever important question, Can I eat as much chocolate in heaven and not gain any weight?
I like the image of crossword puzzles in heaven. It makes me think of my grandpa. I’d like to think everybody has a welcoming committee.
I want to know the answer to all of these questions!
I want the brochure on gender–is it eternal and is true equality possible?
As an MLIS student about to graduate (now it’s a master of library and information science), I absolutely love this idea of a Celestial Reference Desk. My personal doctrine has a new addition.
In answer to your question, the HM thing and polygamy thing are important, but I think I might go with one called “Scripture and Literalism vs. Symbolism.” I would love to know what parts are more about the gist and which aren’t. And more straightforward answers than in, say, section 76. “What are we to understand about/from _____?”” is a VERY far cry from “what does X mean?”