This morning I published a post called The Priesthood Makes You Special, about the sometimes overinflated egos we unintentionally give boys in the church by offering them titles and responsibilities far above those of girls. This morning I also came across a TikTok video from my friend Callan Olive, a therapist near Indianapolis, Indiana.
Check out Callan’s entire Tiktok channel and her website for help deconstructing any harmful religious beliefs you might hold (such as patriarchy).
Guest Bio: Callan Olive practices therapy in Indiana and has a Bachelor’s in Psychology from Brigham Young University and a Master’s in Marriage and Family Therapy from Texas Tech University. She’s an adventurer, a feminist, a therapist, and a coach. She lives near Indianapolis and works with clients from all over the US. Callan is a single mom with 4 small children and when she’s not working, she loves going on adventures with them or listening to audiobooks. Social justice issues like women’s rights and LGBTQ rights are very important to her.
Here is her Tiktok essay in written format:
My 6-year-old thinks line-leader is the best classroom job.
Leading for once, instead of following.
a small amount of power.
But
No, honey, no
Only boys get to be line leader.
Your body was created for other things.
Look, I didn’t make the rules, roles.
We have to wait for your male teachers to talk to the male principal and receive word from the male superintendent before any rules can be changed.
Line leading is just too important.
Listen,
You probably wouldn’t even like that kind of responsibility. You just think you would.
There are plenty of other jobs perfectly suited to girls.
See, you can collect the pencils!
(Yeah, the kindergarteners can do that too, but any job is a gift.)
You can help pass out the papers!
Ok, yeah, the boys will have to tell you where they go but isn’t it great that you get to help them?
Girls are the best helpers.
No line leader for you, but don’t whine, sweety. That gets you nowhere.
Plus, every job is seen as important in the eyes of the superintendent.
You weren’t meant to like it. That’s not what school is for.
Of course you’re valuable, why wouldn’t you be?
The line leaders have the power, but you have a special helper power and that’s great!
(If I keep telling you that’s great, I’m sure you’ll buy into it someday.)
I’m sure someday you’ll see that school is the best thing for you,
the place you’ll learn that line leading is only for boys.
The place you’ll learn how to pretend to be ok with it.
3 Responses
Fantastic analogy.
Last week, as we stepped out of the car at church, I heard my five year old son (the last of my four children and my only boy), say “the dumb church doesn’t allow girls to pass the Sacrament”. My heart leaped and I told him I thought it was dumb too. His comment made me so happy, but in seven short years he’ll get to be the “line leader” and his older sisters will still just be followers. I hope and pray he’ll still think it’s dumb…
Such a powerful analogy. I just wrote an essay with similar themes of egalitsrisnism in education versus the patriarchy of church. I’m a high school teacher and in my district all the leadership positions from superintendent down are filled by women and men about as equally as it gets. My daughter sees this out in her school world as well.
Then we go to church, and as you say, the line leaders can only be boys. Girls CAN lead lines of other girls and boys under 12–isn’t that great? Besides, the girls have other “equally important” roles at school like passing out pencils and papers and nurturing.