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#hearLDSwomen: The Bishopric Counselor Asks My Husband Before Extending Me Callings Even Though I’ve Asked Him Not to. He Does Not Do This When Extending Callings to Men.

#hearLDSwomen: The Bishopric Counselor Asks My Husband Before Extending Me Callings Even Though I've Asked Him Not to. He Does Not Do This When Extending Callings to Men.My ex raised his hand to oppose a calling for me once in sacrament meeting because the bishopric hadn’t asked his permission first.
– Anonymous

 

My dad once voted opposed to one of my mother’s callings BECAUSE they had not told him first. SMH
– HMF

 

There is a counselor in the bishopric now who can’t seem to extend a calling to me without telling my husband first. I’ve asked him several times to please either ask us together or just to ask me, but he still doesn’t. He says women might not be direct about what’s going on that might impact the calling, but that the husbands would. Of course, they don’t talk to the wives before extending callings to the men.
– TB

 

When I got called as a youth Sunday School teacher, my dad told me it would be hard for me since the kids won’t take a female teacher seriously…
– Anonymous

 

A man was giving a talk in sacrament meeting and said, “men and women are not equal” and I was shocked and looked around and no one did or said anything!
– Sarah Bridges

 

My stake president was teaching Relief Society one week because it was ward conference. One of his closing remarks was, “We better finish up and get all you women out of this class before your husbands come pounding at the door wondering where their lunches are.” His tone made it seem like that would be a perfectly acceptable thing for husbands to be doing.
– Rebecca

 

Pro Tip: When extending callings to women, don’t ask their husbands for permission. Look for inequities in church or ward policy, formal or unspoken, where men and women are subjected to different policies. Evaluate these discrepancies and determine whether they are actually necessary.


Click here to read all of the stories in our #hearLDSwomen series. Has anything like this happened to you? Please share in the comments or submit your experience(s) to participate in the series.

“If any man have ears to hear, let him hear.” (Mark 4:23)

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Exponent II features the work of guest authors writing about issues related to Mormonism and feminism. Submit a guest post Write for Exponent II.

One Response

  1. This was happening in my ward too. My husband was being asked if they could give me a calling before they asked me. I did a little investigating and leaned that this is not the norm in all wards. I told my husband that this practice was very offensive to me and if it happened again it would result in an automatic no from me to the calling. So it happened again. My husband explained to the Bishopric member that this was an old unnecessary and very offensive practice. Thank fully the Bishopric member realized this and agreed to stop the practice. I also took it to my Stake President and as far as I know this does not happen any more in my ward.

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