Too old to hunt eggs?

When I was single and 21, I attended a memorable family Easter egg hunt. I am the oldest female cousin on that side of the family, and my sister (age 20) and next oldest female cousin (age 19) were already married. My older male cousin was a single returned missionary. No one invited any of them to hunt eggs, but everyone kept urging me to join the hunt with the kids. I finally explained that I was too old to hunt eggs, given that I was now of legal drinking age. They were confused. “You don’t drink.”

Not taking my word for it, they turned to my mother, who was known to be a key witness to my birth, to verify whether I had really aged out of the hunt.  “April is too old,” she confirmed.  Then she added, “She was never any good at finding eggs anyway.”

But my egg-hunting skills continue to improve.  While I am too old to pick up eggs off the lawn with the toddlers, no one ever ages out of the annual “Adult Easter Egg Hunt” hosted by my parents. Sometimes the hunt is designed with clues, leading the adult egg-hunters to eggs hidden across the city. Winning this kind of egg hunt requires speed, geography skills, wit, and most importantly, an insider perspective into my parents’ warped minds.

Sometimes this event is similar to a traditional Easter egg hunt, except that ladders, shovels, and duct tape are employed to hide the eggs with the skill of a pirate hoarding treasure.  This kind of hunt can lose steam at a certain point, as we all wander the yard baffled, finding nothing. After fossilized eggs were discovered years after their originally intended hunt, my parents started numbering all of the eggs and recording their locations so that unfound eggs can be reclaimed, usually through a game of hot/cold, with the biggest, most aggressive egg-hunters emerging victorious from the pile of adults diving for the egg in the “hot” locale.