“Permission”
Editor
May 23, 2024
No Comments
Its contents immediately captivated and filled me with the honest dialogue that I had only previously hoped existed
Menu
Its contents immediately captivated and filled me with the honest dialogue that I had only previously hoped existed
Finally, I was surrounded by what Anne of Green Gables called “kindred spirits.”
“But when this article [about garments] dropped in the Trib a few days ago, something primal emerged in my chest, and this time, my emotions were not so complex. I was filled with one sentiment and one sentiment only. Rage. One line in the article stood out to me above all others, and in light of recent events, I’d wager I’m not the first to catch it.
[Elder] Hamilton said that many younger women are opting for ‘yoga pants’ during the week.”
A woman who wants to be endowed is dependent on persuading multiple male authority figures that she is worthy to make temple covenants. But at least she can now argue that she has met all the church sanctioned requirements so that she can get endowed in a time frame that makes the most sense in her life.
There is a bag in my closet. A burgundy bag with a hanging clip and cross body straps. Inside is a neatly folded white outfit that fit me a lifetime of faith ago. The knee high stockings neatly tucked in the shoes that have only ever been used on sacred floors. The lacy white top with long sleeves and a solid back layer. The white skirt that is long enough for me to trip over. Ceremonial clothing that made conversations from my various classes at BYU suddenly make more sense.
“All my life, I have cared deeply about being a good person. And until I accepted my mixed faith marriage for what it was, I had used the church to determine my definition of “good.” But Adam’s somewhat offhand confession of doubt turned into many more conversations, and it became obvious which direction his beliefs were turning. He eventually left the church altogether, and we had to decide: are we committed to each other, or to a version of us that exists only in our heads?”
“One common theme that has repeatedly come up in my own mixed-faith marriage, as well as most of the couples that I work with, is about sharing authentic thoughts, feelings, and experiences related to religion/faith in a mixed-faith situation. Often people wonder whether they can really share their true joys or their pains related to their faith experience. They wonder if they can talk about things that are really on their mind, and they wonder what is appropriate or inappropriate to share with their kids in this mixed-faith experience.”
“I defended you in the pews and over the pulpit as people whispered their concerns and condolences about your faith transition in hushed tones. Once a Bishop, they called you fallen, misguided, and the deceived elect. Without an “honorable” priesthood leader in our home, your faith shift labeled me dangerous and unworthy. As a woman, what little power and privilege I had in the church was extinguished without you by my side.”
I have been in a mixed faith marriage since 2018 and I have spent countless hours working with clients in a mixed faith marriage.
I’ve realized that if I could do it over again – with the option to get married outside of the temple and then sealed later – I would have done things differently.
Exponent II provides feminist forums for women and gender minorities across the Mormon spectrum to share their diverse life experiences in an atmosphere of trust and acceptance. Through these exchanges, we strive to create a community to better understand and support each other.