Vol. 41 No. 4 — Spring 2022

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“Utah Valley Gothic”

The mountains are far away. The mountains are close by. The mountains surround you like a fortress — or a cage. They are at a fixed distance from your window. Are they closer today than they were yesterday? You lower your eyes: you know not to look too long with anything besides admiration.“I hate the grid system,” you say. “I like when streets have names.” “Nonsense,” your friend replies. “The grid system is so sensible.” “I just don’t get it,” you say. “We have nothing like that out East.” Your friend’s pupils expand; the whites of their eyes disappear. “The […]

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“Disruption”

Young Aunt Carol saw you cradling the eggs from the henhouse in your apron caressing the creamy shells under the slow stream of tap water. This devoted attention, soft acts that spoke of love, were the first Carol had seen. As for me, Grandma, When I heard this story, my aching throat and stomach told me I am just like you The littlest ones that won’t stop crying are the worst. The awful fits, the whining and noise, the bawling like the dogie lambs in your back field, were all too much for you. It has been too much for […]

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"I Lost My Mormon Boy" by Jill Yancey

“I Lost My Mormon Boy”

“I don’t want to go to church anymore.” I can’t remember where I was when my husband said this to me, but I remember what I thought: You’re giving up? It’s difficult to explain how loaded that sentence was to someone who isn’t Mormon, but trust me when I say that those eight words were earth shattering. They represented an entire future lost: no baptisms, no father’s blessings, no one by my side on Sundays. No temple visits together, and if our kids do get married in the temple, then no Dad in attendance. I married Dane in the temple in a ceremony […]

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“They Offered Me a Paradise”

They offered me a paradise If I followed down the road. A choice if I would pay the price And sacrifice my home. I fell into their trap And for a time, I was confused. I tried living by their map, But it left me scarred and bruised. Now the chains have lifted And I am lifted from the dust. My testimony shifted And I give the Lord my trust. Heaven is not far away. It’s all around me now. The answers whispered when I pray And at the throne, I bow. Surrounded by His love, I know I’m no […]

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“Parables”

I prefer parables to these lines about lines of fine print and even finer print of the precepts you print and publish and prescribe for me. and for all the fine ladies and Gents of the land your Mothers land. When did you forget? Your Mother made the rules when she changed the rules. Foolish men take heart burn your books make amends beauty from ashes God will prevail yes, She will.Caitlin Connolly is an artist and writer. Her work explores the deficit of the divine feminine and paradoxical themes of duality. | caitlinconnolly.com (Photo by Agustín Ljósmyndun on Unsplash)

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