Culture

And as I chatted with younger leaders (basically anyone under 50) from different places in the hallways, at meals, and between sessions, the feelings of frustration, hope, discouragement, and possibility bubbled over. Other people my age really care about this stuff. At the next World Conference, we're going to be prepared with new legislative proposals reflecting the changes we would like to see. The frustrations of today will not go to waste. The Spirit of God like a fire is burning. Its just a slower burn than I'd like to see.

How can women be full partners when men will not promote them from associates? How can women organize when men must authorize every action? How can women inspire when they are crushed by patriarchy?

I was plucking my eyebrows one morning last fall when she walked into the bathroom. “Mom, does that hurt?” she asked with big eyes. I hesitated as I thought about whether it was hurting, “Um, I guess it’s not comfortable. The first time I did it, it definitely hurt, but now it doesn’t hurt too bad.”  She looked at me incredulously, “Why would you do it if it hurts?”

“I am a witness by being absent,” Wendy declares, giving vivid despair to the realization of my role as a woman in this patriarchal church. What brings her peace brings me grief.

"Mom I'm scared."

I started to hear that the temple ceremony had been updated - again. My friends were saying that Christ was more prominently featured and that things were explained more clearly.  I heard an older woman in my ward saying, “I wish we’d had this all along. Everything would have been so much easier to understand.

It seems the church wants me to act as a buffer to keep my children in the safe, shallow end. But I would rather train my children to safely navigate the deep end - to be prepared to meet the dangers with skill and confidence.

I didn't mean to scandalize Primary with my story of drinking alcohol and coffee, but in the end I'm glad I did.