Some thoughts on our founding sister and woman – Emma.

I am grateful she has been a part of lessons and talks and discussions from childhood on. And that what I have heard and studied and sought reveals a complex, complicated woman. I realize what I learn of Emma can’t help but impact what I seek and consider about the divine feminine, Goddess, Mother God, Eternal sister. I appreciated teachers who spoke with admiration for this woman who was older, more educated and more wise than Joseph Smith. She probably loved him early, and so much that she was willing to step into an unknown, and possibly lone and dreary world of partnering with someone so immersed in mystical and extraordinary thoughts and actions. I wonder how much she felt her own ability to influence him. I don’t think we would have such an essential and unusual doctrine about Heavenly Mother, Goddess co-creator, the council of Gods which included all of us, or teachings that complex partnership is essential in developing the qualities of godhood, if not for Emma. What were the conversations like between Emma and Joseph? What questions did she herself take to her own sacred grove? What visions did she have, and share with him? Did she trust that he would recognize the value of her contribution as much as his own? Did she see the need to contribute her own voice through the translation and revelation he could provide, since he was a man in a patriarchal society? In those days when she was his scribe for revealing the tragic Book of Mormon story of a family trying to find their way to God while wrestling with their relationships with each other, did she contribute her own seeing in the seer process – her own awareness of the women and the inexcusable violence and the unwillingness of Nephi’s parents to excuse Laban’s murder (their reaction is glaringly absent from Nephi’s narrative, and I can just imagine Nephi’s mother saying “Oh, no, Nephi, you will not throw God under the bus for this”). Were there more women’s names and voices in the pages she wrote? If she had continued to be his scribe, would there have been more clear condemnation of violence, and more embracing of the transformative power of mercy? Would the burying of weapons be more praised than the banner demanding liberty at all costs? I wonder.

But those messages are there. And we still deal with the heavily patriarchal interpretations that dismiss what I imagine Emma would have elevated. She is a complex woman who spread her influence in a society that would defy and diminish her. For me, I imagine she is essential in the conversations that had Joseph extending keys to women, that created ritual which taught no one is complete without the opposite, that we can only exist as part of one great whole, that the universal salvation message of the gospel and the power of Gods to inspire and transform us all is both terrifying and glorious and it takes courage to proclaim and live it – even at the cost of lives. I see evidence that Joseph was wondering about some of this, but it is clear that her presence and influence carried his seeking and willingness to receive further light and knowledge into expansive realms.

I mourn the schism created in the restoration family after Joseph died,  when Brigham was so unwilling to see how Emma was such a crucial part of the work, when Brigham seemed to assign blame for Joseph’s death on those who spoke up when Joseph was not being who he promised he would be. It is a rift that has come close to destroying the most inspiring messages revealed in the restoration gospel.

I can’t help but wonder how things would have been different if Brigham had followed one of the most compelling revelations we have in section 121, and practiced the compassionate, merciful qualities of God, creating a council that included Emma and other women, to create the kingdom after the patterns of universal inclusion. It is interesting to imagine an alternate history. A history that does not include the priesthood ban, or section 132, or any abusive polygamy practice and rhetoric, or weaponized proclamations, and deadly policies. It does not include the spiritual violence of excommunication because of disagreement. The rites, gifts, power and blessings of women would be expanded and celebrated, not denied and punished.

I am not so blind as to suggest all struggles and problems would be eliminated in this more inclusive history. We are all still human, and would still tend to look for ways and reasons to deny connection, to build barriers, to “other” anyone who we think is different, and to blame the other. But I can’t help imagine – what if? What if all were included, all voices heard, all existence worthy and valid, because the voice of a strong, creative woman was seen as essential in creating a future after the unthinkable happened, and Joseph was gone. I want that to be so, if not then, now.

Emma is an example of one who created a new future, even when her world seemed to have been completely destroyed. This first woman inspired many branches of the restoration family. My hope is that we learn from the story which Emma was the first to write – the tragic story of Lehi and Sariah’s family, who chose to destroy each other rather than practice the radical inclusion and forgiveness and love taught by Christ.

I am spiritually descended from Emma through the Brighamite line, yet I continue to feel most inspired to recall and to practice expanding on what began before the migration. When I visit my ancestor’s graves, or family sites, I sing from the hymns Emma compiled, the hymns they would have sung. I read their journal accounts of wondering where to go, and following inspiration, not from Brigham, but from God, who sometimes spoke in a woman’s voice. And when I read accounts of foremothers who threw coffee in Brighams’ face, defying his demands and following their own divine inspiration, I realize that much of what I think Emma brought to the early years of the restoration is a part of my line, no matter how many plains were crossed, or how many voices are excluded from councils. Emma was one who sought and spoke and wrote and stood. She is an example of creating the presence of the goddess even when no one seemed ready or willing to see it. I am deeply grateful she is my spiritual foremother. She leads me to continue seeking more, and more, letting go of someone else’s idea of a quiet, submissive, invisible, physically pleasing but silent mother, but rather embracing a complex, fierce, earthy, firey, fluid, inspiring, incomprehensibly expansive woman – mother – sister who challenges and calls me into transformative being, creating a new future every day.