A birthday card message can sound prophetic and a work review can sound like a father’s blessing
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On my bookshelf there’s an old style photo album with brittle plastic overlays and yellowed pages. Preserved under the plastic are birthday cards and letters from family. We all shared the same LDS faith and spirituality was a valued quality as evident from the contents of the cards and letters.
I noticed a familiar pattern in all them. Each writer would bear their testimony and speak prophetically about who I was and about my future. Phrases like: Heavenly Father loves you, you have an important mission, you are special to Him, Remember who you are, Make good choices filled the space. It felt prophetic to me. I always felt a deep sense of wanting to make sure I was living up to that and felt that it was the most important part about me.
When I grew up and started sending cards to relatives I’d do the same thing by bearing my testimony and speaking in prophetic language about their own divine worth and mission. I can’t pinpoint the year or occasion that I switched to filling the space of cards and letters with lists of qualities I love about the recipient or expressing pride in their achievements. It makes me feel like I’m celebrating them for who they are rather than focusing on my own beliefs. I don’t think that I had even realized that I changed my written messages style until after I received a curious work review.
At the time of this review that sounded like my boss was giving me a Father’s Blessing, I had a call center management job at a company with almost 17,000 employees. My management stats were “Top 8.91% of the network.” It’s with a ton of vulnerability that I share this quote from the review. “I challenge Jen to recognize her triggers of self-disparagement when the weight of the world feels so heavy, and then, be kind to yourself, and lastly find a replacement activity when self-doubt creeps in or you are overwhelmed. e.g. What can you do that takes the same amount of time as it took to dwell on something you shouldn’t? Gratitude activity? Etc.”
My face went red with embarrassment and bewilderment as I read my review. Would a male employee receive this same feedback? Would I receive this feedback if my manager wasn’t LDS or if I wasn’t living/working in Utah at the time? Why did it sound like an audition for a patriarch? I’ll never know for sure, but it didn’t sit well with me to have such personal comments and a trite recommendation in an official professional review.
In your upbringing, did you receive birthday cards and letters about your life’s mission and Heavenly Father? Do you send them? As an adult, have you received work reviews that sounded written by a patriarch or someone giving a Father’s Blessing? Please share with us.
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2 Responses
On my more devout side of the family, several times the gift was a testimony or blessing. I remember some of my more landmark birthdays in my teens receiving a typed testimony from a grandparent as a gift, a copy of the Living Christ/Family Proclamation, and on my wedding a framed quote from a prophet. Given the shared faith I have with this side of the family, this wasn’t necessarily uncalled for, but I remember being excited to be honored with a gift on my birthday and then try to maturely not be disappointed (even though I was sometimes still a child receiving things like this) at something boring, and sometimes not even personal. I appreciate the effort and desire for them to share things that are important to them that I would likely also appreciate, but I don’t think it was a great birthday gift for a kid. Not the right setting or tone for me.
This is probably the weirdest thing I’ve ever read about LDS people, and makes me very grateful to have never lived in Utah and never had an LDS boss. That level of overreach is creepy. And the only time I’ve ever seen a testimony shared as part of a gift is my parents gave all my kids a new scripture quad for their 8th birthday/baptism, and wrote their testimonies in the front cover.