When the Church tells you how to vote, do you obey?
I’m currently writing my final paper for a Women’s History grad school class. Since we were encouraged to research a topic of our personal interest, I chose Mormon women and the Equal Rights Amendment. I’ve always known that the LDS church opposed the ERA in the 1970s, but the details of what I’m uncovering are frustrating, to say the least. I’ve wanted to scream into my pillow a few times.
After Congress passed the ERA in 1972, thirty-four states quickly ratified the amendment. In January 1975, many thought Utah would be the thirty-fifth state as much of it’s legislature supported it. But when it came to a vote just one month later, ratification overwhelmingly failed. What happened in that month?
The LDS Church stepped in.
When the church placed an editorial in their newspaper Deseret News decrying the amendment in the name of traditional gender roles, Mormons heard the call and rallied. The predominantly LDS legislature voted against the ERA and the majority LDS population support that anti-ERA stance.
Here’s a few of the actions the church took during the 1970s/80s to ensure that the Equal Rights Amendment was not ratified:
-In 1977, Ezra Taft Benson’s office called regional church leaders telling them to send at least ten women to Utah’s upcoming International Women’s Year conference. They sent out letters on the official Relief Society letterhead and made more calls to ensure that each stake was following through. Some wards asked for volunteers or sent the Relief Society presidency, while many others issued callings to attend the IWY. Although not “officially” told by the church how to vote, pre-conference workshops sanctioned by church leadership spread through Relief Society networks where women were instructed to be anti ERA and anti feminist resolutions. Fourteen-thousand Mormon women flooded the IWY and took over, defeating the ERA and all other resolutions.
-After seeing the success of Utah’s IWY conference, the church used similar tactics in Hawaii, Florida, New York, Mississippi, Washington, Alabama, Montana, and Kansas, sometimes even bussing anti-ERA women into the state to attend the conference.
-In Nevada, the ERA was most likely going to pass until the church pulled a last minute Hail Mary. Salt Lake organized anti-ERA firesides at local stake centers the weekend before the vote. 95% of all voting eligible Mormons showed up on election day and the amendment was soundly defeated.
-The Church disciplined or excommunicated women who openly advocated for the ERA. Most famous of these was Sonia Johnson, seen below locking herself the Seattle Temple gates in protest. Supporting the ERA meant not following the prophet, and so women lost callings, temple recommends, church standing, and more.
As of 2019, the church still opposes the ERA.
In order to be considered righteous, gain access to the temple and salvific rites, and ultimately reach the Celestial Kingdom, we are taught we must follow the prophet. In 1978 General Conference, President Elaine Cannon said, “When the prophet speaks, sisters, the debate is over.” Her words were echoed directly by N. Eldon Tanner of the First Presidency in 1979. Children sing “Follow the Prophet” in primary and this lesson is repeated week after week in Come Follow Me.
When you’re told that your literal salvation is at stake by voting or not voting the way the prophet says, do you vote with the prophet?
In 2008, I was a 19-year-old college student trying desperately be righteous and worthy. In retrospect, I think I was struggling with some religious scrupulosity because I was so obsessive. In 2008, I lived in California.
That year, Proposition 8––defining marriage in the state as only between a man and a women––was on the ballot. I hadn’t even heard of it until the Sunday I sat in church and the Bishop read a letter from the First Presidency. We were told to do everything in our power to support Prop 8. I can still picture where I was in the chapel and how I felt. I was deeply uncomfortable. I knew and loved many gay individuals and I had no intention of voting against their rights. It seemed deeply inappropriate to me that the prophet would say such a thing.
But later that day, guilt set in. I convinced myself that if I wanted to be faithful, I had to obey. That I had to prove I believed in the prophet by supporting Prop 8. That I would only be worthy if I did this thing. And so, actively fighting my own conscience, I poured myself into following instructions.
I hated speaking to strangers, but I knocked doors and made phone calls. I put a sticker on my car. I convinced myself over and over that I was doing good, that I was righteous, and that there was no other option. My stomach churned every time I was asked to do one more thing, donate one more dollar, put up one more sign. In retrospect, I can see how much I gaslighted myself into completely turning upside down a fundamental belief I held—that all humans deserved rights and dignity.
I take responsibility for what I said and did during that campaign, even though it brings me such great shame now. I acknowledge the harm I did. I did what I thought I had to do because the church told me I had to do it. I thought I was saving myself, demonstrating to God and to other members that I was righteous. That I was a good Mormon girl, one worthy of finding a good Mormon boy to marry. One who obeyed without question because that’s what faithful Mormons did. I listened when they told me I was the one being persecuted because it made me feel better about how much deep down I hated myself.
Learning about Mormon women defeating the ERA in the 1970s is like a stab in the gut because I know that 19-year-old me would have been on those Relief Society busses going to the conventions. I would have fought openly against my own rights and my own best interests because a man we call a prophet told me so. I would have squished down the bright, feminist side of myself in order to do what I was instructed.
I’m not that woman anymore, thankfully. I do all I can to be a better ally and stand with the marginalized like Jesus did. I know now that I don’t have to vote or politically organize the way an old white dude in Salt Lake says I have to. I honestly doubt the church will ever want the public image crisis it had in 2008 and take that kind of political position again. But if it did, I wouldn’t hesitate to vote my conscious and for what is right, regardless of the church’s official stance.
When the church tells you how to vote, how to politically organize, how to use your privilege, time, and means, do you obey?
Nineteen year old me thought I had to obey, or else my entire world and future eternity would collapse. But thirty-five year old me knows the truth: God is not a God of oppression, strong-armed obedience, or hatred. God does not live and die by a white, wealthy, 1950s-ideal-that-never-truly-existed family structure. God does not want women to remain second-class citizens in nations or churches.
God is freedom, love, and diversity. They are not an old white, American man. And They will not condemn us for “disobeying” the prophet in these matters.
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26 Responses
As a white 55yo male convert to the church and a white man in America generally, I never noticed any imbalance between the sexes because the rules seem to be set up for me so why WOULD I take notice. I’ve raised three amazing daughters and cringe at the garbage they were and are exposed to with regard to gender roles and equity. I’m a little late to the game but am now finally seeing things differently.
It’s never too late to become a feminist! Thank you for your comment and perspective.
As a white 56yo female, I was steeped in the culture that demonized Sonia Johnson and the ERA movement and I thought feminism was one of the world’s worst ills! I distinctly remember my Mom rolling her eyes and being critical of Sonia. I’m as late to the game as you. I have also raised 3 girls in the church, and I’m so grateful for a different perspective. Ironically, it was the Prop 8 disaster in California that made me do an about face, and I guess I can thank the church for that. Since 2008, I’ve said that the church did more to promote gay rights (and feminism by default) than any activist ever could!
Thank you for sharing your perspective! I agree with you; the church I think did the opposite of its goal by giving so much publicity to these issues. I know Prop 8 was a critical juncture for a lot of members.
When Prop 8 was happening in California, we had a similar proposition in Arizona. A couple was called to lead the campaign for it. All hometeachers were told to ask their families to vote for it. I remember telling our hometeacher that any church that had as much grief over marriage practices and the law as ours did shouldn’t be opposing any other form of marriage. To his credit, he took that answer in and accepted it.
I don’t remember feeling that I was commanded to vote a certain way or that I was disobeying the prophet. I was following my own conscience with my vote., something the official latter from the First Presidency asks us to do for every vote.
I remember telling my sister about what I ward was doing and her being shocked that the church was getting so deep into politics. I think both of us were a bit naive about what was happening.
I remember also the great relief several years later when the ward held a 5th Sunday about LGBT folks and encouraged us all to be loving and welcoming.
And then I stopped going to church when the new trans policies came out. It’s been a rollercoaster.
Thank you for sharing your experience! I’m glad to hear you never felt the pressure to vote a certain way. Prop 8 was complicated and I’m certain others experienced it differently than me. For me, there was immense pressure and people passing around “title of Liberty” pictures with prop 8 on it. It became very tied to obedience and righteousness.
Traci – your support for those of us in the trans community is noted and appreciated.
I marched in ERA rallies as a teen and had many members of the church at that time tell me that it was evil. Growing up with an abusive father, I always stood up to the patriarchy. Even then. Fast forward to Prop 8. I had a very strong impression not to support the proposition and I’m proud to say I didn’t. I had a number of non-member friends thank me for thinking and not supporting an evil proposition. It angered me how members would pray for the Proposition and one member even cut and pasted a quote from Obama to show he supported Prop 8. **He didn’t. I confronted that member and told him how wrong it was to be passing out those Pro-Prop 8 fliers at church. My then Primary-aged son gave me that flier he said was being passed around in the Primary room. Other men around him laughed at me. I tore the flier, threw it in the trash, and walked out. So whenever members say the church is neutral in anything political? I called BS. We even had someone from our bishopric call and ask for donations to the cause. My husband said, “Good thing Kim didn’t answer the phone.”
Ugh the calls for donations were so rough! In retrospect, doesn’t the church have billions of dollars?! Couldn’t they fund it themselves?!
I applaud you for standing up for what you felt was right. I wish I had. I love that you went to ERA rallies! I hope my daughters will be better equipped than I was to stand up to patriarchy.
I was in Utah in 2008 and it wasn’t as big a deal here – my memory is walking into Sacrament Meeting one day and them mentioning it over the pulpit. I thought, “Why is this such a huge deal…?”, but then shrugged and didn’t think much more about it. It felt far away and I didn’t think it affected me much personally, so I didn’t stress about it.
That said, if I had been in California at the time I am certain I would’ve been at the front of the line to do whatever the church told me to do. I wonder how many people felt enough dissonance from that experience that they became much more nuanced in their beliefs later on, or ended up parting ways with the church completely to work through their guilt for participating.
Thank you for comment! In my experience, my group of college LDS friends has expressed a lot of dissonance and guilt from it. I noticed how years later they would start saying how they regretted participating. It’s been a bit of a collective struggle as we’ve all dealt with it. Our YSA ward was heavily involved. Some left the church completely in recent years. I can’t speak for them but I imagine that Prop 8 was a part of that step out.
Can’t quite figure out the Church’s involvement when leadership is supposed to remain neutral in poliitical matters. And why stand in the way of protections against our good sisters. For a long time I didn’t notice the discrepancies but man oh man. It’s pretty clear.
I too wonder how the church can claim neutrality when they do things like Prop 8 and anti-ERA. The amount of money the church poured into these campaigns too is astonishing. I think a big motivator is also political—to “prove” to the religious right that Mormons deserve a place at their table.
Finding out the church opposes the ERA is like a stab in the heart. I had heard it, but didn’t ask questions. Until I started learning about Alice Paul (one of the women who drafted the ERA). It made me decide to read the ERA. It’s…. Totally reasonable and good. And the church’s opposition is to “protect women and their roles.” I feel so betrayed and so hurt. It’s not even that they lobby for modified language (because they claim some of the language is bad). They just oppose it. And in the wake of many positive changes for women in 2019, they re-affirmed that they oppose it. It feels like “don’t get carried away. Just because we let women witness, doesn’t mean they deserve equal rights under the law. Obviously they don’t.”
I don’t know how I can possibly hold space for it anymore. It hurts.
I am right there with you. It hurts so much and it’s hard to hold.
Thank you for sharing this, Linda. I was living in California in 2000 during Prop 22 and remember going door to door with flyers as an activity for mutual. I thought I was supporting “the family” and could not understand why one woman ripped up the flyer and called us bigots. I, too, am embarrassed that I participated in the Church’s efforts to use its power, money, influence, and volunteer structure to deny the legal right to marry to gay individuals. I am glad that we can learn and grow.
Katie, I was also living in the Palm Springs area during Prop 22 which was kind of a precursor to Prop 8. I don’t recall being asked to go door to door in our Stake but I put up my yard signs to do my part to “save traditional marriage”. I had a gay neighbor who was not happy with me for doing so for obvious reasons now. Not so obvious then.
My thinking was so different then and I truly thought gay marriage would destroy my straight marriage (silly me, I can do that all on my own. I haven’t btw). So damaging and regrettable.
I’m so glad we grow and learn too. I appreciate you sharing your experience!
Helped my mom clean out her attic a few years ago and found a paper she wrote in the 70s for college (in Florida) about why the ERA would be bad for women. I asked her about it and she said the church paid for busses to take members to the Capitol in Tallahassee to protest its passing. I was shocked. I never saw my mom or the church the same way after that.
Wow, that’s very interesting. Thank you for sharing! It’s hard to look at the church the same once you realize the issues
My husband and I lived on the East Coast during Prop 8 but had family in California who were all in and donated enough money that their names showed up on public lists. We heard from them A LOT about praying for Prop 8 to pass. My husband was in law school and tried reasoning it out, and he couldn’t make it make sense. I was just puzzled and glad I didn’t have to vote either way.. Those family members later left the Church and to this day are extremely hateful and angry toward it. They feel like they were used.
I found out years later that a childhood friend, also in California, left the Church over Prop 8. Most people we know who left the Church over LGBT issues did so in 2015 with the exclusion policy. And now my own family is reconsidering a lot of things with the Aug 2024 anti trans policies. Sometimes I wish I could ask Salt Lake: is it worth it to lose so many active stalwart members – leaders, full tithe payers, temple recommend holders – for the purpose of excluding a few? Is it worth it to decimate the youth over this? Is it REALLY worth it?
“Sometimes I wish I could ask Salt Lake: is it worth it to lose so many active stalwart members – leaders, full tithe payers, temple recommend holders – for the purpose of excluding a few? Is it worth it to decimate the youth over this? Is it REALLY worth it?”
BOOM. Nailed it. 100000%
My son shared that in one of his seminary classes a church leader in the stake ‘tried’ to get the youth sign an oath to be against homos*xuality. I was furious and called to complain. Told that I wasn’t the only parent to do so. My son tells me that was the start of his questioning if the church was true. He no longer attends. What’s sadder is the leaders didn’t reach out when he left the church but the one boy that bullied him at church? The leaders went over the top to mention how righteous he was. The pressure here in SoCal on Prop 8 was real. I personally know many members who left.
An oath?! What?! How does one even take an oath against a whole demographic of people? I’m so sorry your son had to deal with this and so proud of you for saying something!
I have thought a lot about this recently because this election has really damaged my feelings towards the Church. I remember during covid when my very conservative brother refused to wear a proper mask even though he was a member of the bishopric and how mad it made me. So many people went against the prophet’s guidance during COVID yet didn’t leave the Church or have any serious ramifications. It’s made me emboldened to say- this may not be what the Church says, but this is what I believe Jesus would want i.e. supporting my LGBTQIA friends and laws that treat them with the respect and dignity that all people deserve. I think the Church’s stance against prop 8 was wrong. I think their stance against the ERA was wrong. If “conservative” people get to stay in the Church with their opposition to the Church, I do, too and I will fight for the marginalized while I do it.
We actually had a member of the 70 come and rebuke members for not following the prophet by not wearing masks. That lasted for about 2 weeks. The missionaries didn’t wear masks and when they came to our house? I asked them why. They said it their free agency. I told them it wasn’t when their choice affected me and my family. I didn’t let them into my house.
I liked your comment that we have just as much right to be at church as the very vocal conservatives. My Christ loves ALL his children. I believe that.