I’d guess that most people would say their Elder’s Quorum and Relief Society discussions are about general conference talks. However, that’s not what the handbook says the discussion should focus on. Section 9.2.1.2 says “The focus [of gospel instruction and discussion] should be on topics in one or more talks from the most recent general conference” (emphasis added). The handbook uses the exact same wording for the Elder’s Quorum in section 8.2.1.2. Having the discussion be about a topic or theme from a talk is different than having the discussion be about the talk. This is a subtle but powerful distinction.
I’ve mentioned this distinction to a number of current Relief Society teachers and presidents. The typical response is wide-eyed excitement as they start to understand how they might approach lessons in new ways. They’ve all appreciated having awareness of this difference. It gives them church-approved language to start conversations about how their wards could have more engaging Relief Society discussions. I’ve heard more than one person say that part of the reason some sisters don’t come to Relief Society is because the lessons are a forty minute summary of a ten minute talk.
Many members are tired of talks about talks and lessons about talks. Some leaders are aware of this fatigue and have taken proactive steps to encourage members to share more of their own spiritual learning. Here is the boilerplate talk assignment text used in one blogger’s ward:
“Please consider the general conference talk [talk name and speaker] from this past General Conference. However, when preparing your remarks, please focus on 1) the theme, and 2) your testimony of the Savior, the gospel, and how the theme helps you draw closer to the Savior. The purpose of the conference talk is to help you connect with the Spirit regarding the theme. While you are invited to quote sections of the talk, your comments should remain focused on the theme, over the talk. Of course, you may use scripture, other talks, Church resources, etc. as the Spirit directs. Thanks again.”
The language used shows that the leaders want members to share personal experiences with their own gospel learning. Even with this invitation though, most people still summarize the conference talk.
It is easier to summarize a talk than to create your own lesson plan or talk. The latter requires more time and skill. It’s a skill that needs to be taught and modeled. One blogger lived in a ward where the Bishopric would write a talk based on just the title of the conference talk. They would then compare the points that both talks covered.
Creating lesson plans is also a skill that takes time and practice to develop. Here are some steps that I’ve found helpful in creating meaningful experiences in Relief Society:
Steps to plan a lesson
- Identify the theme in the talk that you want to discuss with the class
- Consider your personal experiences with the theme
- Outline how to spend the lesson time. Most lessons can be broken into 2-4 segments. Guess how much time is needed for each segment and consider any logistics needed to create the experience you want. A few tricks I’ve learned:
- A quote or a story from a talk may introduce a segment
- Alternatively, it may work better to discuss the topic first and then bring in a quote, story, or scripture. This allows you to gauge what your class already understands about the topic and how they might relate (or not!) to the quote you selected.
- Sharing your own experiences can encourage others to share theirs. This can help the conversation get started. As the teacher, you can carefully select experiences to share ahead of time.
- A powerful teaching tool is to have the last segment of the lesson be time where the class members can practice the topic together.
Example lesson
Here’s how I used those steps to create a lesson:
- I was assigned Elder Holland’s talk “Motions of a Hidden Fire”. The theme I chose to cover was “prayer”.
- I thought of a number of prayer experiences that were particularly meaningful to me. I noticed that none of them were the typical prayer-on-your-knees-before-bed that we usually talk about. This resonated with the part of Elder Holland’s talk where he tells about Jesus praying in so many ways in so many different contexts.
- I chose to plan my lesson around this three segment outline:
- prayer is for learning (introduce the topic)
- prayer can take a variety of forms (allow time for sharing)
- pray for those around you (practice living the principle)
Here’s the expanded version of the three lesson segments:
- I used a story to get to a quote. I started by telling a story about how all my daughters were obsessed with Frozen when they were little. They played it all the time! Two of them played very creatively and what “playing Frozen” looked like varied from day to day. The other was much more literal and you had to quote the lines just like the movie when you played with her. Then I had the class guess what I thought that story had to do with prayer. (The way we pray may be different from each other, but we’re still doing the same thing: communicating with God. Prayer is for learning just like play is for learning.) We read a quote from the talk where it says Jesus prayed in so many ways.
- I asked the class to share some of the memorable/meaningful prayers they’ve experienced. My class jumped right in and started sharing, but I had an experience picked out ahead of time in case people needed more time to think. Some ways that I remember being discussed: writing your prayer out to help your mind stay focused, praying while going for a walk, composing a prayer ahead of time.
- Elder Holland’s talk quoted Amulek, who said that we should pray for “those who are around you.” I wanted the class to experience doing this together. Creating this experience required some planning. A few days before class, I sent a message through Circles suggesting that something sisters could do to prepare for our lesson would be to think of someone around you to pray for. I arrived early to arrange the chairs in a kind of circle. There was a back row. There were multiple breaks in the circle for easy escape. I made sure to watch the clock because I wanted to have plenty of time for this segment of class. When we got to this point of the lesson, I explained that we would be saying a prayer together and anyone who wanted to participate should sit in the inner circle. We’d pass around a stone and when the stone got to you, you were welcome to pray for a person close to your heart. There was no obligation to participate; you could simply pass the stone along or stay in the back row if you wanted to. Once the rock went around the circle, I would close the prayer.
This lesson ended up being a beautiful experience. The whole lesson only referenced Elder Holland’s talk twice. The discussion was about prayer, not his talk (although his talk certainly shaped how I structured the lesson). The power of the lesson was in how it invited sisters to commune not just with God, but also with each other. This is what I crave at church: connection with those around me.
After I’d written out the steps to my lesson plan method, I got curious about what lesson guidance is in Teaching, No Greater Call. I appreciate the list of methods found at the end of the “Teaching with Variety” chapter. There is a chapter on “Creating Lessons from Conference Talks and Other Resources” that would be great to discuss in a teacher training meeting. In their example, they only used an excerpt from a talk. If leaders assigned a short excerpt from a talk (perhaps along with a theme), it could help speakers and teachers focus on the desired topic.
I’d love to hear ideas from our readers! Has your ward been successful in teacher development? How did you do it? What topics do you wish were covered in your Relief Society discussions? If you are a leader, what topics will you be looking for in General Conference?
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14 Responses
My mind is blown. Thank you for this article. I’m going to share this with many friends, family, and ward members. I would love nothing more than to get away from talking about conference talks every RS lesson!
So glad it’s helpful to you!
My jaw dropped at reading that the lessons aren’t supposed to be a recap of the talks. I stopped going to Relief Society in the past year because I just can’t take anymore of hearing men’s words from conference rehashed again. It’s worse than eating stale Cheetos. I started going for a walk during RS to listen to a Buddhist podcast or Valerie Hamaker’s podcast to have spiritual nourishment.
Your lesson sounds amazing! I too crave connection at church.
Relief Society really should be a place where women find and share their own voices, not just rehash men’s.
What is the name of that Buddhist podcast? I keep trying to understand Buddhism, but I haven’t connected with much. The one exception has been the book “You Belong: a call for connection” by Sebene Selassie, which was excellent.
I’m a bit late replying so hopefully you will see this. The podcast is by Tara Brach (her name is also the name of the podcast). I learned a lot about Buddhism reading excerpts of primary sources. It was a few years ago so unfortunately I can’t remember the name of what I read. I still remember most of what I read though. It was nourishing in a way that LDS meetings very rarely are.
Here is a link that I found helpful: https://teachingsofthebuddha.com/the-basics-of-buddhism-a-super-crash-course/
Also, Buddha and Ashoka: Crash Course World History #6 on YouTube.
Reading this article really touched my heart and gave me an even greater desire to engage each sister wholeheartedly in the next lesson I teach! Wanting to bring us all closer together in love, unity and learning to continually pray with and for each other is my utmost desire and I believe this podcast has opened a door, not just for me but for us all. Thanks much!
Kaylee, this post is excellent and so useful. I wasn’t fully aware of these details. I really appreciate the role modeling w how you approach lesson planning.
What a gift this is!
I get so emotional about the teaching from Gen Con talks (I’m an educator and I am past patience with both the idea that any untrained person can teach well and that returned missionaries are assumed to be the most skilled at teaching – they were trained in proselytizing which is similar but different).
It is so hard to attend summary after summary lesson and know that I have all the skills to offer and open and community oriented learning experience and also know that no one at church is ever going to value or use those skills.
The tipping point for me was an RS experience where the teacher asked us to limit comments because we needed to get through the whole of Nelson’s talk – that his words mattered the most so we needed to be quiet and listen. I walked out and have rarely returned since.
If there are wards out there passing stones, sharing their experiences in a vulnerable way, and finding that connection and community, that is beautiful. I appreciate your simple and powerful template!
Your high praise makes me blush!
It’s hard to feel like your professional skills are very needed, but not used. I think sometimes it can be helpful to volunteer to do a specific thing, but also that involves selling your idea to a church leader as well as convincing yourself that it’s worth the time and effort.
Prioritizing getting through the whole talk…I just…assuming most people in your ward have access to reliable internet, why?!? If the whole talk is something they feel they need spiritually, they can access it. They don’t always have instant access to the spiritual insight of the women in their ward.
Thank you so much for pointing the way to a more engaging and nourishing experience in RS or any class. Vocally offering prayers for those close to you is a staple in other faith communities, and is a part of their services that I enjoy greatly. As a trans woman, I am now banned from RS. While I loved the opportunity to experience sisterhood, I am not missing the rinse and repeat drudgery of non-stop conference talk summaries. I’m hoping this vision of discussion and nurturing that you have outlined catches on so that I can be the grateful beneficiary in some future day.
My heart hurts that you have been excluded from that place of sisterhood. I hope it ends up being a very short-lived policy. I’m currently trying to figure out what it looks like in my life to make an inclusive space for all women, because this is really not okay.
This sounds better than my approach– copy the talk into ChatGPT and then ask it for a title, a summary and an outline. Done. But now next time I have to talk or teach in church I’m going to have to actually put in some work. I’m not sure if elder’s quorum is ready for rocks yet either.
Might as well have your virtual avatar give your talk too, no need to actually show up and do any work.
I think I was going to make a tie-in to a “prayer rock” one of my Primary teachers gave me, but I didn’t get around to it. Elder’s quorum could use a stuffed animal instead 🙂
I was just talking about this with some friends! Relief Society has become boring and lacks engagement. I, myself, used to love Relief Society and hated to miss it; but I’m starting to take a deep breath before entering the room. 😉
When in a space to train the teachers, I would ask them to do just what you have outlined in this article. Find a theme, think of some great questions, do not go point by point through the talk. Nobody wants to rehash a talk they already listened to or even read several times already.
I once had the thought that these men and women prepared a 15-20 minute talk after maybe months of study on the topic. I doubt they just threw the words together the night before (as many members tend to do). And so I take the time now to study all of the footnotes from an assigned general conference talk (whether teaching or preparing to participate in a Sunday discussion) and there is so much you can find in those footnotes. The resources there can take you down some very different tangent and aspects of the topic or theme. It’s my favorite thing to do now!
Thank you for this timely article.