In life there are moments for each of us where we have to ask ourselves what we want, sometimes just so that we can deny ourselves of that very thing we are longing for or seeking. But why do we believe there is some cosmic value in denying ourselves something that may be inherently good? When does denying ourselves something, become denying our very selves and all that we are? What is the purpose of our most innate desires? Is the ambition that drives us to pursue the seemingly unattainable given to us from outside ourselves, or created out of our need to answer the unanswerable?
I think we can never know what answers we are seeking for ourselves if we don’t learn how to ask the hard questions. Not the right ones, exactly, but the ones that scare us into blindness because we know they will either stretch us with their revelation, or show us that we aren’t yet meant to have an answer. But neither fear of asking, nor fear of an answer (or lack of) should ever be a motivating factor. So I offer a challenge of two hard questions. Ones that may make you angry for a variety of reasons, or perhaps sad, or just excited. Or nothing at all. They may seem tame to you, or incomplete (they certainly aren’t comprehensive, don’t fry me up). But I think for most of us here, at least at some point in our journey, they were, are or will be hard to ask ourselves. But I hope we won’t be afraid of them, for truth doesn’t fear questioning and won’t condemn the path of one who seeks it.
What about you? What hard questions have you had to ask yourself?
About twenty years ago, I had to ask myself a very hard question–do I marry a man, or do I live like the gay person I was (and am)? I knew (and know) that *for me*, God wanted me to marry that man. I knew (and know) that *I* would be rewarded eternally. On the other hand, living what I felt, felt good.
I am not here to debate the church’s position on homosexuality, or how I can be gay and heterosexually married, or how I can stay LDS. Also, I am not saying that other people can’t have opposite spiritual impressions. I believe that they are equally valid. I am saying that *for me*, it was a very hard decision that was based on my spiritual beliefs. For me, this has been an unexpectedly rewarding decision.
I admire your candidness, Erin. And I admire you. Thank you.
I like that you can select multiple answers. The second question is a very good one. As a male priesthood holder I believe God desires priesthood equality. I also am happy when I see women “agitate faithfully” and I think it’s going to take men and women taking a stand and making their desires heard, for the church to change, which in the end is what I believe God wants.
Margaret T’s famous/infamous question: Are boy’s more important than girls? is definitely a hard question for me, if simply because the answer is not as clear or as hopeful for women as I would like it to be.
Then there are questions about prophet’s role and revelation compared to personal revelation, and which trumps which, as well as one hundred more.