#hearLDSwomen: My Leaders Don’t Understand the Reality of Childcare

Photo by Patrick Fore on Unsplash

Our ward was planning a several-weeks-long parenting/spousal relations class for the young families in our area. During our ward council planning session, I, the (childless and single) Young Women president, suggested to the group that it would be a good idea to provide childcare for parents so it would be easier for them to attend the weekly seminars. I proposed several ways the childcare could work, including having Young Women (or Young Women and Young Men) sign up to staff a nursery at the building so resources wouldn’t be spread thin and carpools could be arranged to meet the sitters’ needs as well.

The Elder’s Quorum president said there was no reason to provide childcare because “everyone already has weekly babysitters anyway.” When I explained that the people who need the classes the most were likely the ones who don’t have regular “date night” babysitters and that the teenagers could really be providing a useful service for the families in the ward, the men let me have my say and then decided it was too hard/too much work to provide the parenting class and offer childcare for families.

This, even though I was right. there. in. the. room. offering to head up the childcare coordination, and they wouldn’t have to do anything more than make the announcement that childcare would be available during the sessions for those who needed it.
– Laura C


In ward council, another woman and I raised the challenge of having a weekday Relief Society meeting the day after ward temple night. The MEN in the room decided it was as easy as having your husband watch the kids, so it was only one night of babysitting arrangements. I argued that it doesn’t always work like that. Some husbands aren’t home, some resent parenting their kids, and some women don’t have husbands. I was overruled.
– Anonymous


Pro tip: When those responsible for their children’s care ask for acknowledgement of their needs, put aside your assumptions and listen. Allow them to make the arrangements they need for activities.

Click here to read all of the stories in our #hearLDSwomen series. Has anything like this happened to you? Please share in the comments or submit your experience(s) to participate in the series.

“If any man have ears to hear, let him hear.” (Mark 4:23)


  1. Why is the ward council discussing the timing of RS meeting? I have had the stake or temple change or just communicate late on a temple time, but if that happened, then perhaps the RS presidency could just change the day of the RS meeting if it would be a big inconvenience.
    Weekday RS meetings are hit and miss for many. A women’s or her husband’s work schedule or just the kids’ evening schedule can preclude attendance for many women. It is nearly impossible to not get at least one week that is too full of church activities or church and family activities in a 6 month period.

    • el oso- As a former high council member and then bishopric counselor married to the Relief Society president, I would reduce your 6 month period to one month.

  2. After circulating the babysitting sign up in elders quorum for four straight weeks we had zero signers. And the ladies went ape. It was amazing. They called them out and told them how shameful it was that, in a military ward where every single one of their wives had been served this way, not a single one of them could offer service. And it worked. We had childcare. (And how ridiculous is this? That we essentially had to be the nagging mothers to get help?)

  3. Wow, I especially appreciate the thick-headedness of the EQ president in the first story. “Everyone” already has regular babysitters? That sounds like a positively Trumpian level of self-centeredness. Just because you have something doesn’t mean *everyone* does.

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