By Felicia Ellis
Okay, ladies, you want to drive? I hear you saying it would be wonderful to be able to drive your children to their activities, or to participate in more roles that require driving! Of course, no problem, here is your driver’s license. In fact you’ve always had it, since you went to the DMV for the first time. I know you weren’t aware that you got a license—you did (don’t worry about us claiming otherwise before, we make changes all the time so business as usual). Enjoy that power of the license!
But here’s the thing: you can’t use a car. Your husband can, and he can drive other folks around with it. As a woman, though, we can’t have you driving. You’re definitely not allowed to hold the keys to the car! Really, we can’t even let you sit in the driver’s seat, and forget about holding on to your kids or witnessing when their dad drives them somewhere. Don’t worry, you can ask your husband or your male neighbors for rides. What a wonderful service they can provide! Your husband will likely be asked to drive your neighbors around too, so we hope you don’t need his car too often. But not to worry, ladies. There are some buses you can take. You could get one of those sweet pink scooters with the streamers, or walking is an option too. Those are the perfect, feminine modes of transportation. And really, anytime you’re going anywhere you are actually using the power of your driver’s license; transportation everywhere is powered by those licenses. You don’t need the authority to actually DRIVE to use your license! How silly that you think so.
Now, when you watch all the men around you drive and make the rules about how you can be transported, there are a few things to remember. It’s absolutely vital to a functional roadway that you not actually drive. After all, women are inherently better drivers than those men who drive terribly and selfishly. If women drove, when would men get the chance to practice? Women driving places would also keep them too busy to take care of all those children—our future driver-license holders. And hey, moms of boys! We’ll even let your 11-year-old sons drive you on short trips, isn’t that great? It’s so amazing that the authority of driving will be granted to young boys so they can get involved in that service. Your girls won’t need to learn though; they’ll grow up to be just like you!
Please don’t get any ideas about agitating to actually USE the driver’s license. Questioning the driver authority department will get your license taken away faster than you can say “go,” and we won’t let you come back inside the DMV. Most of your female neighbors don’t even WANT to drive, and you should be more like them. They understand their purpose and role on the road. I feel sorry that you lack a testimony of men and women’s roles in driving. It’s really a blessing that you don’t have to drive places and worry about all that responsibility! Imagine being asked to learn the rules of the road. That would be far too much to ask of our already busy women!
The next time you’re walking somewhere, or watching your 11-year-old drive for some bread, or helping your husband as he presides over your family transportation, don’t forget to be grateful for the power of the driver’s license you have!
Felicia is a teacher, a learner, a reader, an advocate, a friend, a wife of one and a mother of two. She loves learning about the ways people connect to the divine, and is still working out a better connection for herself.