There is talk about the different “love languages” — the ways people give and receive love. From a very young age, mine has been fabric. I loved making clothes, doing crafts; anything involving a sewing machine was my happy place. Pandora Brewer taught me to quilt many years ago, and it has become one of my favorite ways to share and express the love I feel for others. At my first Exponent retreat in 2008, I brought along a baby quilt I had made for Kate Holbrook’s new daughter, Persephone. I used a pomegranate motif in a 19th-century style, as a nod to the story of Persephone and Hades and Kate’s love of history. During that retreat, I listened as Stephanie Sundahl Marshall shared her experiences of connecting with her daughter while making smoothies. It was touching and, with each beat of my heart, I felt the words, “she needs a quilt, she needs a quilt. . .” I shared this thought with Pandora, and we decided to make a quilt with a smoothie theme as a gift for Stephanie at the next retreat. Thus it began.
It is a way for us to let sisters know that we see them, we hear them, and we love them.
Every year since, Pandora and I (or sometimes I, on my own) have given someone what has become known as the “Exponent Quilt.” It is a way for us to let sisters know that we see them, we hear them, and we love them. We created quilts for many reasons. For one, to bear burdens and express support (to Cheryl DiVito as she cared for her husband with Alzheimer’s and Linda Wilkins McGee as she goes through cancer treatments). Other quilts we gave were for celebrations (such as the case of the blessed arrival of Lisa Van Orman Hadley’s twins and Susan Christiansen’s marriage to her sweetheart). And some quilts were to acknowledge hard work and dedication (Aimee Hickman and Emily Clyde Curtis, for their work as magazine editors, and to Evelyn Harvill, for her “Heavenly Body” and the light she worked hard to bring to the group).
In 2016, everyone got a quilt. Pandora and I made quilt squares with rainbow hearts on them for each attendee. After the Policy of Exclusion was announced in November of 2015, so many of our hearts were hurting for our LGBTQ+ friends and family members. We wanted a way to give each person at the retreat a piece of our hearts to take with them. So many people have told me over the years how much that small square has meant to them and how it has helped them feel strength as they work to show increased love to our queer members.
This part of attending the retreat brings me such joy. I love listening to and connecting with these amazing women. After each retreat, I spend time pondering who needs a quilt and why. The process of choosing a recipient and creating the quilt sustains me in the months leading up to the next retreat. I cannot imagine the day when I will no longer be able to do this work. It makes me sad to even think about it. But perhaps when that day comes, I can find someone to pass the thimble to.
Kirsten is quilter, seamstress, and lover of all things fabric. She has served in various positions on the Exponent II Board in the past, including as president and secretary.
Granger, Indiana
